This morning, I woke up feeling a little uneasy within. And this is what spoke to me as I read my devotional material..

"Even when imaginary fears slip in like the morning frost to blight our faith, He's there- in charge...."

It's so interesting- how God speaks to us. Just simple sentences that tap on the doors of our hearts and we know that it's Him.
The previous day when I was studying for GP, I was asking God some funny questions and I just felt like I didn't really like what I was reading because everything seems debatable. And the back cover of my devotional material wrote, "God's wisdom equips us to handle life as it really is."
As it really is. God doesn't do pretense. That's not how we solve things. Bury it in a ground and act like it isn't there. Go to sleep and hopefully the night will change to day. But just to simply commit it into His hands. As I begin to study.. It's like tougher in a sense that there's higher requirements, but it's different. I feel like I'm studying and walking with Him, though not simultaneously as yet. Will there be a time when in everything that I do, fellowship with Him will be so so natural? I wonder.

The bridge from a song which I just got to hear: 'Desert Song'
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

A cuppa hot white coffee and a good book will do fine. Such a thrill to be able to sit down and get laid back, at least for a while.

It has been a rollercoaster week. All I can say is that I'm really glad that my family members are around to talk to. Because I guess we needed one another. I don't know if I'd be able to get over it, or if I have gotten over it. But through all these, I see the wisdom my parents have (and which I never quite noticed before) in dealing with it. And I begin to realise that parenting really isn't easy. As for me, well, each time I feel this sense of uncertainty... I offer up a prayer once again. It's truly a blessing to be able to talk to God like never ever to anyone else.

"Life gets painful and crazy... But as you gaze upon that cross, let your response be...

Worship."

Just a line from this video that church has been showing.

the joy of being a simple person

I'm back to blogging. To be very honest, I feel weird even typing something.

This retreat away from blogging is in a way a reminder to myself to always hand all things to God at first hand, the very first moment I experience something, good or bad. (although many times we veer towards doing so when experiencing the latter)

Some updates about my life (starting from the very recent), I guess..

1. Stepping down from SFC
I had a very good talk with Jem the other day even though our agenda was to discuss about some other stuff.. But somehow we just diverted to the topic and some things were very helpful.. Especially when he shared about how a pastor in his church is willing to do any task given to him and the next morning you still see him in church doing quiet time in the morning. Such faithfulness and how he holds things loosely in his hands.. I feel that a lot of times we experience this feeling of self-importance... so much that it consumes us and prides sets in once again. It's something that I have to constantly hand to God because sometimes I'm just so afraid of falling away..
Faithfulness is an issue I remember sharing with my cell leader. And the day when we stepped down, Canon shared something really assuring: we do have faith. And even with faith as small as a mustard seed (which is really very small), one can move mountains. I believe that during our term in SFC, indeed we have grown as we serve God.. To all SFC J2s, your small actions have impacted one or another although sometimes we, or even sometimes you, dont even know/see it! It is my prayer that not just the J1s, but also J2s 'who have stepped down', that we will all step up to live out our identity for God.

The emotional part of it.. The journey has been so wonderful.. That sometimes it can feel hard to let go. Especially when I look at my uniform where my badge used to be.. As in not the badge part, but how goods things also have an end and we're moving on. When I look at how the new exco is installed, I was so so happy for them because I remember how my journey has been and I really look forward to see them grow. And during the recent days of mentoring them, I feel like a mother hen to some of them, protecting them and yet knowing I have to let go.. I really cant wait to see what God has in store for them and the generations to come.

Aftering sharing (1), I cant remember what other things I wanted to share..
2. I did well for my Block Test2. (: Really really praise the Lord.

3. Good meet up with some old friends from NV recently. (:

4. Festival of Praise
I can never forget the FOP in 2006. It was the one when God deposited something in my heart and the comfort and assurance He gave brought me back to church. This year's was just as beautiful because some of the things shared really spoke to me about certain things. Yes, of course we do not seek God just via these concerts that lift up our spirits, but it really ministered to me especially when I least expected something many times.