I have nothing to my name, nothing to be proud of, except the very fact that I have God.
That cheered me up. I feel less beaten up by my thoughts.

English prelims have just passed. I have no idea how I have done. But I know it was definitely better than writing about the fire essay and ending off with a, "the flames licked the ground" and then pens down. (: This time was on hopes. Pretty sad. Even though my storyline wasnt that fantastic, I have definitely injected the sadness into my heart (and hopefully, the story) as I wrote it. Somewhat like another girl that Im writing about in another dimension, and I can relate to her very well. In fact, I felt like I was in it. I guess I really hope that one day I will be able to write some really emotive story that even I would cry. That would have been an accomplishment. Haha. Still have some exam stress problem, like the very fact that I cant stand mess and we couldnt use correction tape.. I must train myself not to use it. Kept re-writing the same starting sentence for more than 3 times.

Overall, I did my best. (: Nothing to regret about.

Someone wrote this "it is always important not to just complain and be depressed/upset about present situations." "we must also push ourselves to create and do the necessary changes required to improve the society / world. (:" "then come up with possible solutions which are just and right, and also not excessively hurtful to anyone."

Im quite upset about certain things. How we use words in haste. Im in no position to pin-point people for that, because I've been doing so too. ):

As I try to change more, things just continue to go wrong. Holy Spirit, I need more of You.

Wah. I really have to thank Dudley for that video in his blog. Even though I dont understand some gestures that the people are making, the video is just too great. It's the kind that makes your emotions gush out all of a sudden. God is really strong. There are so many things that we're so tempted to do in life, but God is shielding us from harm at all times.
I was thinking yesterday about the backsliding ordeal. I call it an ordeal cause throughout that time, I have made God disappear from my life and the whole time was just darkness. I struggled to even go to church once in a blue moon and everytime I just feel beaten up just like that girl in the video. I can remember that for every worship I went that time, I cried. I felt that I could never never go back to church. I even told God stop wasting time on me, I cant do it. Man.. now thinking back, it's like a dream that was real. I thank God for my cell members who ever so supports me and listen to my views, their encouragements, the bondings. Also, for the very fact that now I dont even have to struggle to go church! Liberty is with me now. (:
Im telling myself that even if I cant finish revision, God is there with me. I questioned alot about the word succeed. Is it alright to succeed? Pastor told us yesterday that there's no problem with succeeding, but you must make it count for God positively. As for me, my guideline right now is to do my best in everything for God, and to succeed is to do what I like with my very best.

May our faith be ever so strong in God.

Thank God I can trust in Him!
He's my solution when I start to worry about Prelims and O's.

Till we're standing face to face.

"Thus far has the Lord helped us." (part of 1 Sam 7:12)

control your emotions

Im sorry for the little outburst today. (:

My mind told me umpteen times "be slow to anger, be slow to anger..." alot of times but I still felt the need to be angry, to fight for justice or whatever. But.. actually pretty stupid. Cause it's just a small matter and getting angry still leads me to nothing. It just brings me to say some more words that are unkind.. )= So now, I understand why it's just so meaningless to be angry over such issues sometimes. It's such a wonder why human can have so many different feelings. Yep, just feel like sharing this. (:

hope with lights

I know You love me.

I had questioned His love several times before. But yesterday, someone said this sentence, "God will never change, we're the ones who change." I've heard this sentence before, but yesterday, the sentence amplified itself and told me "God loves you forever." Despite all those crappy stuffs that I've done.
And I guess what He wants me to do, is just to forgive myself and enjoy what He has entitled us to, to be His child in the light of truth forever.

So currently, it's all about

Mock exams
Tests
Homework
Regular assignments that you need to commit to
And church.

Sounds like no life right? Actually, no. When I go to church or QT-ing with the right attitude, I feel replenished. So overall, Im still alive, not just existing. (:
And life isnt boring right now. There's still new things that I need and want to learn, changes that I need to make with help of Holy Spirit and old things that I need to appreciate even more.

Cultivating a heart of love.