awesome

On a fine labour day... very fine weather (I predict so)...

You just have to wake up EARLY in the MORNING to do your GPP.
Not compass anymore my dear. You have friends living in the West now.
So we're meeting in the centre. Bugis, the place where you always went to shop, not to study.
Haha. I'm not blaming my friends or what. I just found it funny. And I believe that many of us in this transition must be facing this thing called long travelling. I don't mind, honestly. Because I really love to take long MRT rides (with little people, hopefully). And I count myself fortunate cause' it's just once in a while. So meanwhile, just be glad that I have the rest of labour day to shop with my budbuds. (:

I think life is SA is pretty much better now. It's quite fun especially with 'some people' around who wants to be my best friend. She believes that it's a monopoly competition, which means she's the only one who wants to be my friend. I'm sorry Ruimin, I'm so going to disappoint you. Haha. (: Just kidding.
I just went to SFC today and before going, I don't know why, I was anticipating to go. I remember when I struggled with the choice back then and this senior said, "God will help you to grow to love it." I believed that was a message from God to me. It's really amazing how He works. It can really be better than what we think. Lesson learnt: stop limiting Him.

As suggested by Evelyn, the lyrics of my blog song. It's really comforting. (:
---------------------------------------------------------------

God of Our Yesterdays
When we were in the darkest night
And wondered if our eyes would ever see the light
You were there Lord.
When we were in the stormy gale
And wondered if we´d ever live in peace again
You were there Lord
You were there in the struggle
You were there in the fight
You were there all the time.

We praise You, the God of our yesterdays
We praise You, the God who is here today
We praise You - our God as tomorrow comes.

And whatever lies ahead
Whatever roads our grateful hearts will come to tread
You´ll be there Lord
We will fix our eyes on You,
And know that there is grace enough to see us through
You´ll be there Lord.
You´ll be there in the struggle
You´ll be there in the fight
You´ll be there all the time

We praise You, the God of our yesterdays
We praise You, the God who is here today
We praise You - our God as tomorrow comes
We thank You - for grace in our yesterdays
We thank You - for peace in our hearts today
We thank You - our joy, as tomorrow comes.
We will trust God.

You´re always closer than we know
Always more involved and in control
We will trust our lives to You -
The One who was and is and is to come
----------------------------------------------------------

long story

What can I say but I'm blessed. And you can be too.

My family was facing a lot of problems and my parents almost divorced. The in-laws problem really turned this family upside down. I can say I was at the age when nothing mattered. Glass shattering, shoutings, and mum telling my brother and I the plan when Dad and she divorce. Daughter follow mother, brother follow father. At that time I was so fed up with them cause’ I just felt that they only know how to quarrel. I went, “Okay.” And my mind probably went like, “Why don’t you make it fast?” I don’t remember if I have ever prayed to God. But I know my mum did. She was having thoughts of ending her life when she got to know Christ in the lift. Cool place, I guess. She was talking to a neighbour about her problems when a stranger talked to her. That stranger became my mum’s probably best friend now. She lived below our unit then. She has an awesome testimony too. My mum had no other road to go to, she chose to know Christ. And brought me along. I played games with the aunt’s son, Nelson. Very fun. Mum said I ever dozed off and uncle had to carry me up. Who was God then, don't know.
ADD: It is noteworthy that my family relations is really great now, in case you're wondering or worried. Thank You Lord.

We joined a church in Primary 6. That was the don’t-know-what-i-was-doing phase of my life. I had a crush that probably the whole Teenz zone knew. I went to church like just to watch people act and we discussed stuff in cell. I can’t even remember what we talked about. Nothing bible-related that I can remember. Except telling my cell leader how cute that guy was. Haha. I joined backup singing. That time of my life, I was paranoid about people hating me. Like I was a pest. I found myself irritating. Hated myself. I left church as a result. Who was God then, didn't seem He could help me.

I couldn’t face God. I had a hard time struggling to go church. I tried going to other churches. I could imagine going anywhere but my old church. God is amazing. He does the things that I deemed impossible. When I went for FOP with Jiamin and Dudley, God’s presence was so real. I saw this vision of blood washing the big black letters sin. Washed it clean, white. I went back to church. I am amazed when I look back now. How did I even convince myself to land back there? I know that back then, I would not have had the courage to even step into the church. How much more would I even go and see a group of strangers who are now my cell buddies? Indeed God has brought me back. He couldn’t bear seeing me lead a life of struggle and darkness. Who was God then (and still is), filled with compassion and forgiveness.

Even as now, my walk with God can still be quite shaky sometimes. But I truly believe that He will never let me go. He will help me. You see the change in me? When I used to be a terribly temperamental (moodswinger)? When I was such a paranoid and I hated myself so much? When my mouth was filled with dirty jokes? Now, I go to church with a purpose to know Him more. I live life that I know is purposeful. My heart has no veil. My heart is opened to face the things that I dared not to. I am not bound by chains. Who is God now, someone who calls me friend and knows my name.

God has never changed. He has always been a wonderful and loving Father. It's our perspective of Him that changes as we know Him more.

Quite unfair to deem Him as this and that. Know Him for yourself. (:

Trying so hard, to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are, Lord, who You are in me.

My keyboard is a little hay-wired so it's quite difficult to type. But doesn't matter. Today is sports day! (: At first I didn't quite feel like going, but actually quite fun. Actually more fun than NV's cause not so much events. It's mainly inter CG heats and finals, prize presentation.. and Mr Derrick Tan ran the teachers' race. He looks really cute, like a little kid. Haha. And his team won first! Haha. Alan said he was like a purple streak zooming past. Exaggerated. Amanda got it video-ed. She video-ed our run too. 08A03, I think we all did our best yeah. (:
Sometimes it's just so hard as we try, trying to do something right though we don't like, trying to make things perfect. Just so hard that you're at the brink of tears. I just want to humble myself, I need God's help. I can't do this on my own, walk on my own.. A relationship with God is walking with Him, isn't it.

But well, He gives me hope to be able to even rejoice. On the way home today, I've been thinking, "God, I've yielded myself to many things and failed You. So many times." I was reminded of His love that forgives. That love which without hesitation forgives me, and loves me even more. Thank You.

I know You are going to make things right.

That's all I need to know. Instead spending time here to constantly rant about this and that.. I'm actually quite happy with this assurance. That I don't have to worry about my tomorrows.
Because a moment ago, I was just about to scream here about how much I wish some things would turn for the better in school and all the tests and exams I'm going to face soon. But this anxiety was gone when the above sentence came into my mind.

Yes, thank God. Else my ounce of courage will just crumble.

weekend sleep-ins

40 days, and I'm alive! =D

This page is getting unfamiliar.. I never knew 40 days felt so long. But I'm really happy. You would have asked me why I anti-blogged. It's not that I don't like blogging. People who know me know that I love to write and talk. (and maybe laugh alot) Well, I guess my intention was actually fast blogging, but after that I decided thinking it was also like a break kinda thing. I felt cut off from the internet world but I was feeling okay. (: Another thing.. I guess was to have the habit of seeking God and tell Him my stuff before telling this virtual space first. Haha.

Anyway, these 40 days have been filled with many stuff. Yeah, like LIFE concert is over and I'm sad and happy.
Sad because I miss flagging. Did I tell you flagging is not just holding that Singapura flag and twirl twirl? That was what I thought at first and my face was /= But after learning, that It's actually very fun and challenging for me! Because the song's quite fast for flagging, we need alot of arm strength. I was suffering. But I'm happy. We always end off sweating and I love to sweat. Haha. (: Thanks to Evelyn the mentor and Rebekah who are always there to help and correct me.
Happy because trainings were long hours. Like at this time we have rehearsals until 9pm. My sundays were all taken up. Sometimes I didn't feel like going so really thank God for pulling me through all the trainings.
Thank you Samuel, Xiaoxian, Huichin, Ruimin, Yujie etc for coming LIFE concert! The seats were meant for you guys. (:

JC life has been rather boring sometimes. Two tests today and I'm glad I was still quite upbeat throughout the day. I'm somehow managing homework well, but I'm a little behind for lecture cause' I don't understand or don't listen or both. Haha. I have faith that I'd catch up when I start revising for upcoming tests.. despite the fact that my bro was just gloating about his 2.5 month break. I'm just gonna do my best. (:
To all studying: All the best dudes, as you continue adapting with the environment. You'd eventually settle down well.


I miss you cell! (: (Grabbed from sophia's blog)



I miss 4E2 too! (: