I think I can hear it out there.......

Holidays are here! (somewhat) If only it snows here in Singapore.. But well, thank God for good, regular weathers. (:

Chinese A levels is finally over. I'm not especially crazy about it, but I had a good time discussing the answers with my parents a while ago. When my mum got the answer, she went 'yay' with a wide grin. So maybe the hyper part of me is hereditary. Anyway, I'm still glad it's over and I think I did pretty okay besides some small silly mistakes. And when I was doing paper 2 part 2, I found myself staring and stoning at the questions. Basically, my mind likes to wander off quite oftenly. For example, when I'm listening to music, I'm not even listening to it cause I'm just thinking of things. Random ones. Not very healthy, I would say. Lacking in concentration. I can't wait for PW to be over, seriously.

I spent a day in church office as receptionist. Haha! Not knowing anything, I just braved it but it was quite okay. Just that the phones there are just not really working fine. Or is it me? I don't know. And when I saw the list of people to call for the T3 article, I felt unwell. Haha. Kidding. You know, I'm pretty scared of phone calls actually. I dont know if it's common around us, but when some weird people calls/when I have to call some weird people, I will usually take a breath subconsciously before taking the call. But it became pretty natural for me in that one day. (:
Pretty suggestive, I seem to think people are weird, not me. Haha. Actually I can be pretty weird to myself sometimes. )=
But I was quite bored after that cause I finished calling quite quickly, wrote two short articles because I really didn't know what I can do, and I took two phone calls. I was waiting for someone to call so that I won't be so bored. Half the time, I was probably talking to the phone, spurring it to ring. Haha. I'm really kidding.

Went to manhattan fish market with wanhui and joyce. (: The food there is pretty good (only when it's still piping hot though) and the mudpie is really really good. Compared to n.y.d.c now. )= The first time I ate there was sec1 when joyce and i were in kara's cell. The good old days. And the good new days! =D Wanhui was sharing about how BFC was like then and now. And I realised that alot of times we don't like changes, but we can make the changes turn out good. Don't you think so? It's like when we leave a place reluctantly, but alot of times we can end up in places we begin to like too.
I'm not encouraging us to comparing places and make our old friends feel like they are forgotten. I guess we just need to strike a balance (which may not be perfect all the time) in our interaction with so many people that we meet. (:

Now I can, trade these ashes in for beauty.

I know everyone's ranting about PW, I can almost hear it through these walls. But.. PW is so going to be over! (: My group has already been thinking about how to celebrate and stuff.. and we plan to do it before OP. =D Let's just hope there won't be anymore crises.. But right now, I'm having a sore throat and I still have OP dry run and morning prayer tml. I really hope it heals by tonight. (:

Promos is over and what can I say but I'm really glad and I think I did better than I expected or deserved. For example, I don't know why I can get a B for geog when I only did last min studying, but I really thank God for that. I think I've learnt my lesson and will work harder for MSA 2009. But meanwhile, maybe I can slack for a while first. (:

I miss four and many other nv people.
Our latest meet-up was July. That's like 500 million years ago when we first met Jasmine the dinosaur (extreme left) at the zoo. Sorry, I'm speaking gibberish.

and i come to you once again

Psalm 37: 24 "though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand."

Isn't this verse beautiful? You may feel like giving up, feel like things really look bleak, but God will uphold you. He will.

Sometimes I see that God has more faith in us than we in ourselves. But His perspective comes probably because He knows.. His strength will sustain us, therefore we can do it.

Are we asking, are we seeking? Or are we still clinging on to ourselves and drowning.

I'm so so exhausted mentally. I have tried not to think about many things because I don't dare to. My promos result, my service in SA.. etc. But they pile behind my head and gush in at that critical moment when I should be standing firm.

And now I understand why God tells us to think of things that are lovely, things that are noble.. etc. He didn't say "think of nothing" or "delude yourself as much as you can".

My God is a wise God.

You may not be happy even if you get what you think you want.

Sunday. I got to Elise's house rather late cause' I went to take the red line from Dhoby to Jurong. I wasn't frustrated, just tired and happily reading my novel. I can't seem to drop that book late at night. Tonight, I must learn to control myself and sleep early. My old 10pm bedtime that started this year, because of the crazy jc life, died. I guess it's time to revive it. Anyway, we had fun doing our video. It reminded me of old days with the three monsters making really weird and funny videos. Just that going back home wasn't as fun cause I was so so tired.
I think that PW is teaching me to be patient and not to get angry easily. I know that hasn't been going well for me. I was reading an old devotion on how impatience comes because we're so concerned about our agenda. More than the struggles and cares of others. It's only when we go through something then can we really understand what the devotion is talking about? Well, I'm learning.

Some behind the scenes.


Tia, she was supposed to be the DJ but I decided I suck at sobbing so we changed roles. (:


I'm supposed to be caught scratching my back with the feather duster and digging my nose while on air. =D I'm sorry but I love adding in disgusting scenes.






Tia thinks the feather duster looks like hibiscus on my head and threatens to put this in the ppt.

this is my heart's desire, to live for you

Sometimes I'm ashamed to admit that I'm quite idealistic but doing nothing about what I believe in. I disappoint myself greatly because of that.

I really don't understand what I'm doing because everything seems meaningless to me right now. But there are some things that I just have to do that seems meaningless. But at the same time, I lose sight of my goal. And some things that I know is meaningful but either doesn't do much or never doing anything about it.

I don't know if you understand. But I just want to organise my thoughts down here a little.
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My answer to all these is prayer and willingness. Because I'm weak. Laziness sets in and etc.
I have all my ambitions and strategies. But they all may fail me. I've been taught that change is constant, but they forgot that one thing doesn't change. God doesn't, His will doesn't, His love doesn't.
I have friends who are troubled about life. But we just can't find the solution for their problems.
The best I can do is pray.

This is what I have been thinking and observing. Just for thoughts. (:

Anyway, a well-spent holiday. Right after my paper ended yesterday, went to meet some cell members at minds cafe. Boardgaming craze just went on and on. I miss the terrace part of vivo. Good old memories with friends there. Today, had a good 'reunion' with old school people. We watched 'The House Bunny'. It's the funniest chic flick that I think we kept laughing throughout the whole show. Quite a new storyline, really worth watching if you're a girl. I don't know about guys. Haha. Met up with dud and Mr Lim too. Been so long since we met Mr Lim lar. A really good teacher who always shares more than 'required'. (:

Great time but my desire to disconnect from the urban world for a moment still unfulfilled.. Only during sleep time, I guess.


credits to Iris