My heart sings a song, that even angels cannot sing.

I especially like this line in the song, "Falling" by Pocket Full of Rocks. It's a line that has been so close to my heart, to know that I can sing a song of joy because I can have this father-child relationship with my God. To be able to sing a song of joy became more real to me yesterday, and I really thank God because now I feel liberated to sing to Him not out of duty but out of love. In a way, I have been feeling a little downcast within for quite a while and I didn't quite understand why either. Jem's message yesterday really helped me to see how I have been just thinking about the serving part. I've been so consumed with the doing... that I have began to feel like I'm just doing things, asking Him to tell me what to do.. Like an obligation or something. Rather than truly experiencing Him as I serve Him.

For as high as the heaven's from the earth, so great is measure of our Father's love.

a song of joy

Oh, I could sing unending songs
Of how You saved my soul
Well, I could dance a thousand miles
Because of Your great love, yeah

My heart is bursting Lord
To tell of all You've done
Of how You changed my life
And wiped away the past

Oh, I wanna shout it out
From every roof top, sing
For now I know that God
Is for me not against me

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My prayer for the day is that my heart will be able to sing songs of joy. I will do things not letting them weigh me down because He, who has set me free, is faithful and will be my Helper.

Matthew 11:29-30
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

all my days have been ordained

After today, I'm convinced that I can be a meteorologist. Because I predicted the weather correctly, for once.

Me: (staring at the window) Dad, I think it's going to rain.
Dad: No lar. How you know?

And I got out of the house happily because my bag was heavy and I wasn't planning to bring an umbrella. I kinda figured that someone I know will be around..
The moment I got out of Potong Pasir, it was drizzling. Then it started to pour. Like literally pour water like that. I was on my way back to bus stop to take the bus when I saw Chris! =D But it still didn't help. I was half drenched and ready for scripture reading. Haha.
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Well, I think I am getting pessimistic all over again. I don't know. Maybe cause' sometimes I paint too rosy a picture and I get disappointed. And many times I just feel that I can't find a person who I can share and can relate to how I feel. When I shared with Sophia today, I totally felt like I finally get to breathe again or something. Like it has been kept within me for quite a while..
But y'know, as I'm typing this.. I feel like a fool cause' I forgot that all along, Jesus is with me. All along, even if I feel rotten and everything, I can just share with Him and make it my prayer to commit these issues to Him.

Reaching For You
I can't believe the way
Your love has got a hold on me
Each morning I wake to find You near
You lift me above my fears
And set my feet on solid ground
All of my days belong to You

And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire

I stand here before You
In wide opened wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose in me
As I'm reaching for You

heartfelt thoughts

It's so nice to feel like a kid sometimes. (Just something random because Andy pat my head today.)

My goldfish appears to be dying. I almost cried as I looked at it struggling for its life. Partly because my heart went out for it, and partly because I feel that many times we're like that too- fighting for our lives though we can't do it on our own. There are so many things we wanna do, so many things we expect.. and so many times we get disillusioned because we place our trust in the wrong thing.

Isaiah 30:15-19

¹⁵ This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.

¹⁶ You said, 'No, we will flee on horses.'
Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!

¹⁷ A thousand will flee
at the threat of one;
at the threat of five
you will all flee away,
till you are left
like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,
like a banner on a hill."

¹⁸ Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

¹⁹ O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.

Won't You teach us not to be obstinate?

Hi all.. Just felt really refreshed after yesterday's Lifecon thanksgiving dinner. I really thank God for the people that I've met both in LifeCon and SAJC itself. So many different people.. And many of them always bring a smile to my face. People like my classmates, my SFC friends, Eleora, Jem, Matt, the mentors, Rebekah and the J1s... And I really miss those times during EW/LC, when I would ask Eleora if I should fast the lunch or dinner (since she knew the menu), doing 40 Day P&F with Samuel and Jem (when my coffee addiction started), and going crazy with Rach over the Easter week artefacts. (=

I think this journey has been really wonderful.. Because of the struggles that we face, we turn to God even more and through these times, He has spoken to me-- through people, through His word, through songs. And it's so amazing because it just speaks at the right situations when I don't know what to do. Or even, when I am so discouraged or tired that I really feel like giving up. He has mould me in character.

Thank You for Your love, Lord.

I guess I'm pretty human after all. I don't mean it in the way that I-am-perfect-smug-smile kinda way. But rather, I failed again and ran back into God's embrace. School has been intensive. And I've been feeling the "what if i cannot catch up with work" thing. Got so frustrated with schoolwork and teachers, although I don't really feel that I should blame it on them. But I am comforted by the fact that,

A thousand times I failed
Still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace

-From the Inside Out

Be it failure in studies or in life, the best part is to know that I may stumble, but You will never let me fall. You will be with me throughout the journey.
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Shopping with Rach and Sammie. It's super great. It's been about 4 months since I had a decent shopping time, especially with them. And it's so productive! Haha. (= Had a good time talking about stuff and reminiscing lifecon. I love open-air cafes. Should do that more often, even alone by myself or something.