I woke up this morning feeling like I've slept for a week.

Yesterday was good, in a way. Lessons ended at 1230 and went for Subway with Evelyn, Chesed and Rach. It felt like a small getaway to me. A time to take a breather. Maybe sometimes I need to take a breather from myself too.. Cause' I just feel that I'm depressing myself sometimes. And I don't think I'm being friendly to myself.. Anyway, I find myself walking into mentors' room recently because it's one of the places which makes me feel like school is pretty distant. Haha. The place is just so homely that I can just fall asleep there.
Rach commented that she has been around people too much recently. I feel so too. Really need a getaway.. God, help me. To live rather than just survive, even when I don't feel like it.

we lift up our hands

You are who You are,
No matter where I am.

Perhaps it was a small storm, but the storm was real. I know I struggled to ask for Your will to be done.. And God.. truth be told, You are the God who helps me in my struggles. And during these times, I have been really encouraged by people's affirmation. When Jeremy told me I was mature to give up something I really wanted. When Joe told me he sees a servant heart in me. Which I believe God had the same sentiments. Because I think that half the time, I'm beating up myself for being 'selfish'. I guess as I'm typing these out, I have a clearer picture of what it means to be worth something in the eyes of a King- to be the apple of His eye.
And I'm really glad that I decided not to aud for LifeCon in the end. EW needs people and I'm excited about it too.. More importantly, I'll be happier to offer the service that God wants from me.. Rather than I serving myself.. Ironic huh.

It's been great serving God anyway. For the 40 Day P&F booklet which came out yesterday evening! =D I was fretting a little about distribution but people keep telling me to 'be still' indirectly today! (thr MW, scripture reading, devotion...) Indeed, the supernatural thing about God is that He can give you peace even when you are in times of anxiety. (: And distribution has been good so far! Better than I thought. Really. I dont even have my copy cause' I keep giving it to others. (=

people i look up to

Joe and Wanhui. - two of my greatest cell leaders.

"Cell leading is not easy. Wait till you have your own sheeps." This is good proof of who you are as our cell leaders-- always giving more than required to your sheeps, being our good shepherds and spurring us to grow.
I cannot list down all the things you have done for us but I can mention some. Inviting us to be first to sleepover at Joe's new house, meeting us and treating us for food, getting updated about our lives even though you're busy, making effort to be there for us when something happens to us or our family members, praying for us, being there to let us voice out and giving us advices. And your concern about our results as though we are your own children. Your actions really speak aloud of your love for each and every one of us.
Thank you for always being there as our shepherd and shepherd's pie. You love so you do not compromise when we do something wrong, which puts you at a difficult position sometimes. We really appreciate you both because of your genuinity and love for BFC. Thank you for being our friends and leaders.

Just came back from celebrating Valentine's Day with gfs.

Today's sermon was about BGR.. Part two. I didn't know they have so much to talk about. And I guess the best part was the sharing by Matthias and his wife. I mean, one of the best lesson you can learn from is people's experiences. And I really admire them for their honest and open sharing. I guess, BGR is really more than what we really think it is. Like if you start at younger age, there will still be drastic changes in yourself and the other party. Sometimes and quite suddenly, you'd find that your dream guy changed. Even though many people like to say that the hope of "your first to be your last" is dim, I want to have a relationship that pleases God.. Anyway, I think we had one of the most interesting and open cell discussion. Haha.
Met the girls at Clarke Quay for dinner. We were like suffering from eating mexican but I managed to clear my whole plate. Good tortilla but not worth the price. I like the green hot sauce though the colour looks disgusting for appetite. Settled down at some open-air bar and shared some drinks. Good time catching up as some of us talked about how school life can be quite suffocating. Personally, I catch myself studying as though as I am on holiday trip.. I guess I need to start studying hard. But I really enjoy serving more. Guess I have to deal about it.

Ah. I love weekends.

Feeling a little sleepy and grouchy because I've had a long day. But I guess it was fun today-interviewing those who are auditioning for Life Concert. I guess one very important lesson I learnt is that we shouldn't be that critical about people. We are all at different phases of our walk.. and in no way should we decide that who is better than who. Because we are all accepted by Christ not for what we do but what He did- dying on the cross and resurrecting.. for us. Revealing His great power that isn't ruled by death.
I'm quite tired cause' there's comm meeting/practice coming up.. And I'm having the flu attack. Do pray for me.. that God will strengthen me indeed. Super natural.

I really really can't wait to tell the people that we're doing 40 Day P&F!.....

You have no idea how crazy it is until you start making the book, from scratch!

When Jem sent the msg at 4am that the booklet is done, I went 'yay' within and back to sleep. But doing morning worship, I started thinking of God's companionship during the times.. How He gave us the words. How He gave us strength. How He helped me not to feel like ponning school. How He blessed me.. I feel, how undeserving. God, Your grace comes in abundance.

But right now, I'm still feeling a little weird because work came on a rise and now, a sudden halt. Maybe like what Rachel said, cold turkey. Haha. During this time of chionging and also having spent lesser quiet time with God, I find myself still taking time to reflect on the purpose of doing all these..

For all of us who are serving, let's keep coming back to Him so that we'd not lose purpose of what we are doing.