am i just a failed perfectionist?

Today can be considered good and bad.

I met up with my primary school friends and I'm amazed by how well things gone because we hadn't seen each other for five years and there we were, chatting like mad. (: We talked about everything, good, bad, our quarrels etc. Some of the things used to hurt me a lot when i recall it until girls' encounter last year. Even though it wasn't an immediate healing of my past hurts, it got me to confront the nagging guilt and really deal with it. It became apparent to me that all these things I've went through really made me grow. Anyway, we recalled many funny stuff. One of the craziest thing we have ever done is to invite this stranger we met on net to a party. Haha!

The bad part of today, or rather almost everyday, is the feeling of having not done things enough for the day. My morning starts with tv, my night ends with tv. In between are sleeps and reluctance to do things. I feel worse than a slacker. I feel like a horrible lazybum who is wasting the air and.. I hate it when I spent money which comes from my parents. I should make a resolution- find a job now and study for J2. Help.
It's just that I don't understand why that small deal of a problem can make me feel so weak inside, so vulnerable to laziness and lethargy. I know everyone is experiencing that, it's just how unbearable it is that I'm not doing something. E.g. to sit still and really tune in to God.

Well, I just got to be optimistic and know that I can do it. I don't even remember what I need to do as of now.