My new favourite character: Mort the Lemur! (:
Actually lemurs in real life look pretty funny, but well, Mort is different cause' it's the cutest thing besides me. =D Of course I'm kidding. But think about it, it has the smallest role getting chased by sharks all day long in the movie, but it left the deepest impression to me. Especially the haggard-looking part and the way it goes, "Lalalala."

Today was job hunting day. Clarissa and I went for 3 interviews and hopefully I can get a temp job that I can juggle well with church, SFC commitments and studies because MSA 2009 is like a few days after school reopen. They must have a problem. I have hardly even touched my holiday homework and I hope I wont leave it for the last week for sch like I always somehow end up with. Some people are probably better, they don't even do. But I can't afford that, cause Geog assg is counted as CA I think. )= Okay, get over and done with. (:
I'm quite happy these two days cause' I feel like I'm trying to live. Haha. (:

A conversation went like this today between two young adults and their youths.
The self-praise one: Hello, what is your name? My first name is pretty and last name is cute. You can call me pretty cute.
Clarissa: My name is speech and my surname is less. I'm speechless. (in response to the claim)
Wanhui (my cell leader): My surname is Beau and my name is Ti fu. You can call me beautiful.
Self-praise one: It's rude to call your full name. Ti-fu, tifu!
Beatrice keeps quiet despite the rest encouraging her.
Wanhui: Her surname is Huang, her name is hou. She's empress!
Self-praise one: No, her name is pian tai. Pian tai huang! (I know it's kuang but it sounds like. (:)

Who is the self-praise one? I think she thinks she's cuter than her fav character Mort. =D Here we go again.
I remember Charis telling me when we graduated that we can't self-praise anymore. Haha. But well, I guess we always have fun doing that. (: And sometimes it entertains others so that they can suan us back. )=

I have a wish. To be more determined in my stand and resolutions.

1 Tim 6:12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Taking hold of the eternal life. Sometimes our grip over what is more valuable and important seems to loosen more easily compared to the things that entice us and are of less value. It is precisely why it is easier to chase after such things, for they are worth less. I guess our fight of faith is not just challenging, but it is always a lifestyle. When we decide what to choose, what to do etc.

I remember that the recent Saturday, I had my very own inner struggle. Somehow, I was feeling rather hopeless and I just did not have confidence that I can continue. I was reminded of this verse, to take hold of the eternal life. Grabbing a good hold of it and never losing sight of my final destination-- to be with God.

am i just a failed perfectionist?

Today can be considered good and bad.

I met up with my primary school friends and I'm amazed by how well things gone because we hadn't seen each other for five years and there we were, chatting like mad. (: We talked about everything, good, bad, our quarrels etc. Some of the things used to hurt me a lot when i recall it until girls' encounter last year. Even though it wasn't an immediate healing of my past hurts, it got me to confront the nagging guilt and really deal with it. It became apparent to me that all these things I've went through really made me grow. Anyway, we recalled many funny stuff. One of the craziest thing we have ever done is to invite this stranger we met on net to a party. Haha!

The bad part of today, or rather almost everyday, is the feeling of having not done things enough for the day. My morning starts with tv, my night ends with tv. In between are sleeps and reluctance to do things. I feel worse than a slacker. I feel like a horrible lazybum who is wasting the air and.. I hate it when I spent money which comes from my parents. I should make a resolution- find a job now and study for J2. Help.
It's just that I don't understand why that small deal of a problem can make me feel so weak inside, so vulnerable to laziness and lethargy. I know everyone is experiencing that, it's just how unbearable it is that I'm not doing something. E.g. to sit still and really tune in to God.

Well, I just got to be optimistic and know that I can do it. I don't even remember what I need to do as of now.

Guitar lesson yesterday. Thank you Jeremy for taking time off to teach us, even though you won't see this. It went quite fast and to me, I'm advancing faster than the guitar lesson we had in Sec2. Haha. We tried playing 'Still' and Jeremy told us to play for one of the mentors. We tried to sing louder than the playing so it will sound like things flow and it's good. Haha! Well, practising makes perfect. Guess I should keep some time aside for personal practice. And I feel quite sad and happy that I have not started on my revision yet. Sad because I know I will suffer later. Happy because I am not studying. =D

Meet up with choir seniors and we sat in for the choir practice. Mr Liew never changed. Haha. The way he teaches and stuff. Makes me wanna join in. I miss all the cheek-bones-up, sit-up-straight and Altos battling with Sopranos. Haha!


The seniors after SYF


Dudley Lin, our mighty Bass with his piano cover scarf.


One of Mr Liew's tactics: Throwing chairs


Meetup with some of the seniors.. One year later.

it took a dream to wake me up

Recce to Navigators HQ for SFC camp today. Short trip, but the place looks pretty pleasant because it has a swing. (: The kind of swing that will be at my house's garden when I grow old. But I always wanted mine wooden with varnish that glimmers under the sun. Haha, I'm learning to dream. Sam left us and we went to Bedok for lunch. Really nice kway chap there, esp the pig stomach. I think I should get Janice to appreciate this with me, cause she's probably the only one who likes this kinda stuff (based on my assumption that she likes pig liver). I wish I lived at Bedok, then I'd have good food everyday. =D Anyway, I've thought of some really funny games for the camp, I had to keep myself from laughing while brainstorming on the bus.
Left to meet some cell members. Joe has been teaching us this game called Oasis and it's really fun. I think he can go and open board game shop already. I especially like werewolf even if we're going to play it a million times. And the tunnel game too, when we play with Wanhui and she just exposes that I'm lying by my facial expression. Haha. After reading Smarts' post, I really think that yeah, I'm grateful for a cell like BFC. People who listen, support, play etc.
Meet-up with P6 clique soon! Excited cause it's been going 5 years since we met! =D

how can this be, that you are mindful of me

To be a peculiar people.. Yet doing the mundane things..

Big contrast. Most of the time, behind our goals and purposes, we are working on things which makes us feel so dry and undesirable. Like if you are working towards your trophy, behind it is full of trainings that make you wonder if you're ever going to breathe for the next second.

Christ understands what we go through because He went through. With a purpose in mind, He laid His life down for us. If you were thinking that it's painless for Him and He enjoyed every moment of it, think about it again.

Matt 26:39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

I was listening to the song 'East to West' and I stretched out my hands trying to grasp how far the east is from the west. The fact is, the east and the west never meets. And the Bible tells us that is how far God has removed our sins away from us so that we no longer have to feel the guilt. When I first saw the verse, I really went wow. That is how great, how deep and how wide He can freely give and love. Only if we will accept it.

The point is, His life was given so that we can have our lives to the full. (John 10:10)

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On a lighter note, I can't wait for cell this sat. It just makes me feel more relaxed and at home. Probably because this week has been a run-about and I really need somewhere to unwind somehow. Right now, I feel like staying at home and not move an inch. But well. (:

may He be your hope

I hope there's a job vacancy at the place where my brother is now. Cause' the pay is reasonable, I don't have to work on weekends, and it's not a tough job. (: Hoping.

Besides that, I'm quite bored at home. Because I don't feel like studying. )= Haha. And I was just watching this wonderful video. One scene of which this 8-year-old girl in Philippines who couldn't hear from birth. She was healed and could hear. She called her daddy for the first time. It was really touching. That's just one of the scene. There is more. God's healing power testified right in the very lives of these people. And when they started singing, 'The Steadfast Love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end...', I get a glimpse of God's love for us. (:
And I am reminded of the lyrics of 'Indescribable' by Chris Tomlin.

Indescribable, uncontainable
You place the stars in the sky, and You know them by name
You are amazing God.
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God

Hello (: I was looking at some photos, some of which made me wanna laugh.. Haha. The very year-end class photos.

1. Indeed, I'm loved and blessed. I thank God for friends who make nice little books with scary photos of me inside, a doll dressed in bikini etc. (:

2. I was reading a letter Charis made for me at the start of this year, when we hadn't got into JC yet. Friend, I see God's hand upon our friendship. Direct quote from Charis Ng, "You were quite pian tai... I didn't dare to get near you." to "We started to become close friends, sharing about God and stuff." Haha! It's amazing how a simple conversation about our walk with God can bring us to a deeper level of friendship.

3. You will know this is for you. (: I have wondered.. If we're just good-to-play-with friends or friends-who-truly-care. But the msg in your every letter that you love me as a friend brings to me a strong message that our friendship is stronger than going goofy together. (: Thank you friend, for the timely reminder. I'm sorry if I've ever shown more selfishness than love towards you. And I truly treasure our friendship, dude.