It's just so amazing that I could think of so much during the Chinese Oral, of anything other than the topic. Like seriously, what was I thinking of. I still feel like laughing at myself even though I've shared it with my friends.
Okay, firstly, I talked to myself within me that this was going to affect my grades, it was going to be reflected onto my cert. And when I did the pre-reading, I was talking to myself again, verbally this time, scolding myself for the wrong words I said. The timekeeper was just right next to me.. I have no idea how hard he had to contain his laughter. And then, before I took the oral, I asked myself how I could greet the examiners so that I may cheer them up and get the maximal of what I can get. So.. I think I said pretty okay, reading was not that good cause there were two pauses and a word that I didnt know how to read. I must really thank debate though, I said a point that was pretty well. Could tell, the examiner was nodding her head and smiling. =D I bet I was grinning with joy then. There was once when the examiner asked me "Why you feel..." and guess what I said. "I just feel so/ wo jiu shi jiang jue de." And we laughed. When the guy said "Any add-ons?", I held back these words very very hard "Can give me higher marks?" It felt like the words were rolling within me, and could slip out if I opened my mouth.
Moral? Well, this kinda stuff makes me wanna go crazy. Especially when I went down to the canteen and stunned there for a couple of mins. The examiner is a 'falsy' too. The girl keeps smiling, but actually.. I shall not carry on. Just love the process of sitting there, talking to them (despite the repeated points and one example that I talk halfway until dont know how to continue). Ah well, thank God that my fear was gone and I personally think I did my best. Nevermind the marks. (:

Great time lunching with the honey buns. Had so much fun recalling songs ranging from English to Chinese to oldies to dialect to songs of our generation (kids now wont know). Okay, just alot. Cher and I talked about what to do after 'O's, which is the hot topic now. It can really drag you away from reality but you can get thrown back once you say the poisonous word. It's just so upsetting to know that Im gonna leave this class where there are people I can related to. ):::: But well, I believe that the future ahead is gonna be a blast!

Let God work.

Okay, be happy! (:
Tomorrow will be a better day.

discovering my identity

Just a quick post before I discover the difference between Berlin Blockade and Berlin Wall. Haha. History is just so fun. No sarcasm here, I really think it's fun. Sometimes I just like to read it like reading a storybook about this skinny skeleton and a fat guy having a cold war with each other like immature kids. (: Im so glad that I chose this subj comb, still remember the time when my heart was in this tug-o-war as to which PS to choose, and drawing lots w Mum and getting PS1 (triple science) in three straight times. Time flies so fast.
THIMUN....... I was fantasizing/imagining what it would be like if we went for TAIMUN instead. It's like so cool lar, go overseas to talk about politics. Im kinda leaning to the 'going' decision cause it's a doesnt-happen-to-you-easily kinda thing. Who imagined going to this ulu sch called NV and going for some stuff that even some prestigous schs have no share of! (:
It's sucha horrible thing to bottle things up. Sometimes Im just so glad that there are people who I can talk to about certain things. Thanks guys, you know who you are. (:

It's the train of thoughts session again. I have to admit that I do not have enough faith that You will tell me Your will, yet. I dont really like the idea of me letting go bit by bit anymore. I need to live by faith and not by sight!

God is simple

Cant really seem to find a human being who hears and understand my predicament.

I have been pondering over this statement: God is simple.
I didnt understand why they say that.
It took me a while to understand, God is simple.
Im the one who's complicated, or rather, complicating myself.
How would the complicated be able to understand what the Simple says unless made simple?
And it's just so amazing that the Simple understands the one who complicates.

And it becomes even more complicating to understand myself.
Need to be made simple, both mind and soul.

ambassador

Yesterday was a long day. Went to study w chuilaam and sop joined us a while after. Met jas and gilbert and they were doing smth.... studying too (: Cell dinner after church, we went back to the chicken rice shop. (: The last time we went was like last year but I felt it was longer than that. Had our dinner, birthday cake for June babies (to clari: ju-b-b =D) and some spastic photos =D , then headed down to our bench and played some games. Haha. It was really fun. I said my first 'Wo ai ni'.....)= It's like a game that you can send the 'current' to the person beside you, right or left depending on what you say to them. If you wanna reverse, you have to say smth opp of what he/she says to you. Thanks cell, for the wonderful time. (:

Trying out specs

Her turtle collection

And they fantasize to be this thin.

Jassy's kitty neighbour. Super cute when it meows.

re-charge

Lessons yesterday werent boring. Since there was company from 1 and a half classes. And hz keep making weird noise. Haha. Mdm Woo is actually quite a nice person. I talked to her after class and even though sometimes she looks kinda cranky, she helps lar. And she explains things clearly. Okay, what's this. Some appraisal for a teacher? Haha. It's just sometimes that I realise we like to talk/ make fun of people who are actually nice and stuff. And there's always tons of gossips going arnd which makes it so unbearable. As a girl, it's a temptation to join the group and yakk all the way. But.. actually it's not so fun to me. There's this little thought that always tells me "You remember you dont have all the knowledge of things and situations?" We might be having fun talking about a person serving as prostitute and make up stories like she's horny or what but actually she might be doing it to get her poor family an income? That's just a very vague example. Well.. it's time for me to stop talking like a fool.

Man, this is crappy. I keep questioning myself what's wrong. Yes, Im sitting down, studying and I dont seem to accomplish anything in these few hours. What's wrong. I see the homework and I really feel like murdering teachers. Isnt it about revising? Why homework. Okay, homework does help but.. it's not all the time that your mood matches the subject of the homework right. Bleh. The urge to study is there, like when Im out today, all I feel like doing is get home and study so that I will feel the satisfaction. Which is kinda crazy.

Need to settle down. Need focus. Need God.

RE: need for more of You

Ohman. I cant wait for THIMUN! Cause it means (1) O levels is over (2) I get to try out new things. The previous experience was probably considered a fluke since I copied the UN's resolutions and rephrase the sentences to call it mine (good thing there's no copyright) and spent most of my time contemplating if I should say smth. Haha. But I really feel like trying out ECOSOC. If Im not wrong, it's like a smaller grp of ppl who discuss the stuff, I think that suits me better. In fact, I think I should have started from there.

untie the knot within

HAHAHAHA! Amaths slide did not state the assignment. I asked Xiangyu and he cant find it too. So well.. dont need do! (:
Yes, this is how crazy I can get now when there's one less homework. My headaches came again, right after I chase a bus in like a mere few metres. I am like....... ):::: I wish I can fall ill and hope that I wont. Dont need to go sch but I still have to catch up, and catching up is what I dread most. This period of time is gonna be tight, things running fast and we'd find it slow. But well, God, time is in Your hands. (: Just stop those crazy dreams and I'd be happy.

Yes, Im bored. That's why I try to squeeze smth out to post. Herherx. 'Runaway Jury' is on in 18 min. It's based on John Grisham's novel. Had wanted to buy his novels cause Steph recommended it that time and it is selling at 2 novels for 17 bucks. Like crazy right. But I figured that I wont have time to even flip thr the book. Im currently reading The Historian which my bro bought but guess what. I hadnt flipped past the first page. (: And my TIME magazines are piling up. The mag comes really fast, like 1 week before the issue date. And y'know those politics stuff.. requires time for digestion. So.. yup.
Today's service was different. We had worship (it was really short for me, cause i was late) and some sharing session. Pastor shared about how he proposed to his wife and had a 'live performance' of the song he composed for her. Haha. And we shared about what the opposite gender expected of the other. And he said that if a person likes the other, he/she would look at her/him at all angles! Haha. Okay, watch out Juv. I shall stare at you during CRL. Just kidding. (: And he shared this experience of going to Kalimantan and he was preaching 1/2 way then some super loud cricket drowned his voice. The people couldnt hear him so he prayed for it to keep quiet and the moment the translator finished translating what he prayed, the cricket stopped. So I told clari the cricket is Indonesian. Haha. Geddit? (:

Nice and empty yes? I like the reflection. =D Mum has decided to make a low platform in the living room, so with our mighty strength, we moved every single furniture somewhere else for the contractor to make it. It feel like the way it used to be when we first stepped in. (:
And yes, I have finally gotten out of the house today to see the world. (: Had planned to eat at pepper lunch w cher and jas, but well, guess what. The price shot up. As in shot, not 10 cents, 20 cents. But like.. dollars? Ate at the newly opened Ajisen at Hougang Mall. (:






Okay, the food there is pretty nice. (:

Btw, I like this warped picture very much. (: Thanks pris.

Dont worry, i wasnt emo at that time. Just bored by Amaths. =D I mean like.. Im not the emo kind, Im like so happy everytime, bringing joy and terror to people. (:

Me: i didnt betray you honey pumpkin piey. haha!
Juv: HONEY PUMPKIN PIEY! AWWWW~
Me: you are supposed to be disgusted
Me: but oh well, you cant. cause you're disgusting yourself
Cherlyn: what about me? T_T
Me: you... sweety cuty strawberry shortcake honey drink (note how i tried to force these words out)
Jassy: (after saying she love juv and cher.. like im the last.. im so sad.) oh ly dun worry i love u too
Me: jassy.. you.. lovely sweet little girl (:

I declare Im biased! =D Who asked the other two to be some disgusting babes. (:
Some nice conversation huh. (:

Aww sheesh, what kinda holiday is this. Studying, sorting feelings up, sleeping until you feel so lethargic. I need a real vacation, away from books.

Can we go back to Taman Banana? ):

just something personal

I've asked myself alot, after the conversation. I've watched the sermon video once again, I realised so much. What shocked me was that I love something that isnt really alive more than You. Im back to the start, I dont mind. I dont need to care about counting the years of being a christian, I want to be one forever. I dont have to leave the church once again just to experience my first love once again and thank You for that. I just need You, my solid living Rock.

I thank You that Im back in church, I really thought that having backslided would be a permanent stain in my life. But You proved me wrong. Thank You so much for this salvation.

Yesterday wasnt really a good day. My life has encircling around thoughts, comp and the tv. It isnt healthy, mama.. Im gonna put a stop to it. I talked to my Aunt yesterday about all these crap Im facing. She said that our mind is like a battlefield, there are three parties: You, God and the devil. It depends on who you want to listen to. No point asking God for wisdom then next min listen to what Satan has to say to you. I think that's very true, he's always happily making us lose our focus of God. Well, Im really gonna put a stop to it. Im so tired of living life like this, being compelled to a lack of will. I want to go to thr the victorious frame.
And oh yes, challenges to overcome some stuff again.. It's really not a good feeling. It's like a reminder of the times when I dont know if I should go for debate, for thimun etc. Like a mixture of feelings.. One part says: Have faith, you will benefit from it. Another says: You're gonna fail. I blame myself for being double-minded. So the conclusion? Focus on God.
I need to get a life...... But before that... study. ):::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Ohyes! Happy belated birthday to clarissa! (:

nautical nonsense is something you wish

One week away from church feels like one month. Joyce says the 'bazaar' is still on tml! (: But I dont feel like going out. Just feel like rotting at home or smth. Maybe I should go out to study. I've never done studying, shopping alone for a long time.
Anyway, I just had a nice conversation with andrew. (:

A: the first time i saw u
A: i tot u were pretty cute.LOL
A: as in in sec 3
A: or isit this yr
A: haha
Me: aww thanks. haha!
Me: so now im not lar
Me: thanks alot (:
A: lol
A: u are
A: haa
A: funny too (see jiamin. im funny. haha!)
Me: if my friends saw this.. haha
A: copy and paste la
A: haahhaha
Me: shall i even post it on my blog
Me: then your reputation will be smeared (:
A: y
Me: i always tell them "im cute, im pretty" etcetc for fun
Me: then they'd say "you're not, stop lying to yourself"
A: u r cute in ur own little way la

See that? Haha! Im so happy. I can continue deceiving myself. Haha! Jk. (:
---------------------------
Im sorry I cant help, but know that we're by your side.

Praise the Lord with all my heart.

(Credits to Charis for photo)

Me: Priscillllaaaa, shall we just stay here in the desert, dont go back to S'pore?
Pris: Whattt...? Wo piao yang guo hai, wo chi de qi ku... *sings as she smiles even tho it's meant to be a sad song

Ohman, I think Im crazy. I dreamt of the floating restaurant and I felt like puking in my dream cause it kept going up and down, up and down. Weird dream huh. If I told you some others, you would be rofl.
So anyway, we had sandstone gathering yesterday. It felt weird that we were going out, not trekking. Haha. Ate at yuki yaki and the food there's not bad.. but not that good either. Just okay. But I really love their soup base (which JM took from the kitchen.. haha!) We scooped the soup directly from the pot to drink cause we were lazy. (: Ohyes, men in white is definitely not worth watching.... dont watch.... It's filled with a mixture of dialects, chinese and slang English which I thought was really good. I bet it came from him naturally. The movie didnt really have a smooth plot, had repetitive jokes that came for more than 3 times. ):::: Even though there were really parts that were funny, they were mainly sick jokes.

I should really think before I talk. And yup, keep a humble heart.
Contentment comes from looking at God, not people.

just another random post

(Credits to Dud for photo)

(1) Time to resume studies
(2) I think after this trip, life seems like it's gonna be more beautiful than ever.
(3) Thank You Lord for creating all these landforms, these beautiful plants and animals. It really brought me closer to knowing of Your wonders, such explicit details of all things You've created. It's really indescribable.
(4) Lan, our guide, is really shuai. Esp when he's cooking the satay. Aww. Haha.
(5) I miss church, i miss BeautifulFeetCell!
(6) I miss bus rides with 1 hour sleeps. (:
(7) Time to continue QT-ing!
(8) I miss sha shi tou (our grp, sandstone)
(9) To jasmine: I wont forget last year, when you betrayed me and caused her to keep laughing... Haha!
(10) Bunkmates, I love you guys!
Ju.C: eww.
Janice: aww. i knew you were going to say that.
Pris: monster!!!!!!

Let me be random.
(1) I've just wished winston happy birthday. =D And we still have no idea who is older
(2) Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes, prezzies to me. (:
(3) I miss debate so much, I miss the times when we were working so hard for it.
(4) I shall not be stressed alright. (:
(5) Time for me to get to sch for locker books, i left em all in sch, how to study
(6) I have grown up!
(7) I finally can watch 'No comments 16' (some clique name we had in church when i was p6)shows. Haha
(8) I am sooooooo blessed and loved.
(9) That was totally kyle! Totally! *strums guitar
(10) Thanks peeps for the cool stuffs that they wrote in the cards that cher gave me, like Haozhi who called me his Xiang gong and calls himself the niang zi! =D Haha!
(11) I can finally walk into the pool rm and tell the person Im 16 without lying =D

GDOP

the stage

brothers and sisters in Christ

from countries like myanmar, vietnam, korea and jap too (:

the performers streaming in


JOE! =D

Taman Negara

We werent a bit anxious about running late for the train. Haha.


Upon arrival.

Nice tracks.

Like in the oldies, totally.

Cabin




Carlights. A bit lame, I know. I was bored. (:

Seoul Garden

They have ice shaver machine there at TM. Changed alot there. So anyway, we tried to do some ice kachang-ing..

My failed attempt.

Second. And the price I had to pay is eat both. So much for perfectionism.

Ju.C's juicy dessert. =D


Cherlantte's i-scream

Papa clam and baby clam


And cherlyn fed me some baby food. See how tiny and small the prawn and cuttlefish is.

=D



Happy birthday (:

Thanks babes. (:

Im back from Taman Negara! And am offically 16! =D Sweet sixteen, they say. Yup it was, cause I spent half of my day sleeping. (:

Reflection of this camp

I feel that we have so much teamwork throughout the whole camp. All the sandcastle building, protecting it and Dudley having to sacrifice his butt and face. =D And also the trekking. I still can remember Priscilla hopping up the 'root steps' on the 2nd day. But on the third day, this was unimaginable to do so, cause of MUD. (:
We had a great treat from the forest, the mud was all over our legs (esp for those who fell and played), the waterfalls provided cool 'jacuzzi' and we colored each others' faces and dyed each other's hair using the rocks there!
How to do that:
(1) Get a big rock and a small pebble
(2) Rub the pebble on the rock surface and colour will form
(3) Use your hand and get a little of the colour then you can start art lesson! =D
We also crawled through this cave that was really cool. I've never imagined a cave needed to be crawled into. And when he said we had to climb, I thought there would be those tarzan strings for us to climb. Haha. It turned out that the place was still moist from the rain. There were the nice bats which looked like they are upside down and staring at us. I wouldnt have imagined getting out of the cave w/o the trainers' pull at the end of the cave.
There were other stuffs like rapid shooting (going thr rapids and we splashed water at each other) and eating on floating restaurant with lots of flies.

Not much to say about activities already. Of course this trip was more vigourous compared to Cameron Highlands trip we had last year. Cameron was all about walking here and there to see, sleeping in nice resorts and hotel. Well, both had its fun. Thank God that we didnt missed the train despite the coach's hickup. You should have seen the taxis that streamed into the school for replacement. And I learnt to appreciate alot about Singapore this time, I have no idea why. But I dont think Im going to grumble about S'pore's weather, late air-con buses and food for the next few days. Hopefully, never again. Haha. Thanks to those ppl who sang Happy Birthday to me thrice at different locations. Haha. It meant thrice the blessings that God has given me, and more to come.

God has really taught me during this trip about contentment. We like to flare up at the slightest irritating, hurtful things that people do and never looked at their good. If we had, our anger would have subsided. At certain times we feel that people around us should have done this and that for us, but have we done these for them. It doesnt matter if I did and got no return, God sees.

Im just too tired to go anywhere. Think I'd drop dead on the train or smth, perhaps even before I go to sch. The pharmacy guy told me that the dizzy pills would make me sleepy, I dont even need it to be sleepy.......

Anyway, thanks to Yangling, Minhui, Michelle, Jan bomb, Priscilla, Chinchin, Theresa, Charis and Weijie for the presents! =D IM DYING TO OPEN THEM UP. It's so tempting but they say if you open earlier, your lifespan will be shorter. It's of course not cause of that lar. Im not superstitious. Just more significance. Haha. Train my patience, endurance, determination.. anything. (: Seeyou guys on 050607 =D What a nice number. (:

Hello! Im just too excited about tml's trip to sleep. At first I really felt like staying home, dont go anywhere and just snooze all the way. But well, I cant wait to go cause' I have my friends around! I cant wait to bunk with those mamas! =DD

Is it the perfect time for my birthday to come. Yes of course! =D But to be honest, I really dont know how to celebrate it.
The emo way out: Get myself out alone and wish myself happy birthday, blow a tiny weeny candle at 0000.
The lazy way out: Get all buddies to come my house and have a great snooze! =D

Almost stepped on a major huge chameleon/ lizard on the way out. Fortunately, dad held me back. I think it's dead already, cause on the way home which was like 2-4 hours later, it was still at the same position freeze posing! =D

I think my crazy-coffee-night-mode is on again! =D