Today has been a relatively good day. (: Just two lectures and two tutorials. I love tuesdays.
I really love econs now, it's just so fun. I dont need to demand for people to tell me how cute I am. Because they just tell me every second that I'm cute until the utility (satisfaction) decreases. Hmm, I'm just so lovable. (Okay, you can just continue lying)
Sorry, I'm just too bored. I cracked myself up today at one point that I drooled. Haha! I bet Huichin can understand this part. Cause' she always catch me in action when I embarrass myslef. Haha. Dont worry, it doesnt happen often. Just once in a blue moon. Unfortunately, nowadays there's just too many blue moons. (;
H1 Physics or Geog..... Someone please give me advice.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

crucified to set me free

I can't explain what a fool I am to hold on to things that die and wither.
I am so compelled by Your love to drop off everything I have and just to run to You.
Wouldn't you just keep the fire continue burning?
Oh yeah, there's much more to life than cheese and crackers.

I was quite worried that if I delay the PAE thing until today, I will forget about it and yay, I need not go anywhere. Haha. But well, today I gave God the first choice. He has all rights, but He gave me the freewill to choose to give Him or keep it for myself.

1 - 30A ST. ANDREW'S JUNIOR COLLEGE (ARTS) (ST. ANDREW'S JUNIOR COLLEGE) 7 - N67 MASS COMMUNICATION (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC) 2 - 36A MERIDIAN JUNIOR COLLEGE (ARTS) (MERIDIAN JUNIOR COLLEGE) 8 - T48 PSYCHOLOGY STUDIES (TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC) 3 - 26A NANYANG JUNIOR COLLEGE (ARTS) (NANYANG JUNIOR COLLEGE) 9 - N77 PSYCHOLOGY & COMMUNITY SERVICES (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC) 4 - 22A ANGLO-CHINESE JUNIOR COLLEGE (ARTS) (ANGLO-CHINESE JUNIOR COLLEGE) 10 - S43 APPLIED DRAMA AND PSYCHOLOGY (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC) 5 - 23A CATHOLIC JUNIOR COLLEGE (ARTS) (CATHOLIC JUNIOR COLLEGE) 11 - N79 BUSINESS & SOCIAL ENTERPRISE (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC) 6 - 29A SERANGOON JUNIOR COLLEGE (ARTS) (SERANGOON JUNIOR COLLEGE) 12 - S86 MEDIA AND COMMUNICATION (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

The ability to make choices is indeed a privilege. Thank You Lord for giving me the privilege to make my choice- You! (: I trust that You will bless me richly, and that Your plans may be fulfilled.
And opps, I forgot to change the house number. Haha.

Dad got baptised on Sunday! My mum kept saying, "After all these years, finally..." Haha. It's like seeing a seed that refused to grow suddenly sprout and bears fruit. Took some pictures for him. (: Then had dinner with parents, Pamela and her husband. We talked quite a bit about my mission trip to Aceh. Somehow, it's still fresh in my memories. I think I need to start keeping a record of what God has done in my life. (:

He who has ears, let him hear. (Matt 11:15)

He is risen

I was waging war yesterday. Equipped myself so well for the pre-release against anxiety, but I wasn't well prepared for the post part. Well, Aly told me that I made it to top 10 before we got to school. And I wasn't quite going to believe her cause I didn't want to receive disappointment. But well.. the post part.
First reaction, thank God for making me in top 10th. Second reaction, I was a little upset for being in the 10th. (Please dont beat me up, continue reading first) But there was this thought that sent me crying for joy for my results. As in literally crying badly, but for joy. Which is worth celebrating to me. Haha!
There was quite some unhappiness in the hall, I was trying to hide mine badly. But I do know that I had asked God for just enough to get into SAJC. And He did, the cut-off is 10, I had 10. And bonus to get in easier. Wooh! His plans are just so great that I couldn't deny that part.
When I got home, I just felt so great to release all my emotions, my worries, my happiness, my thanks for everything in front of God. It was such a great relief for me, I can tell Him anything. I handed my worries to Him, I know He will take care of the stuff. I had a little resentment, I gave it to Him. I learnt alot from the 'war' yesterday. That God has indeed given me more than I deserved. Not just my results, but also He Himself! That woke my mind a little to realise that I have much more things to give thanks for! =D What the heck should I really grieve over? I was just so so happy that God opened my eyes to see what He has done for me.

I thank God for squeezing me into top 10th! (This is when you stop feeling like beating me up) He knew my desires and He gave me some of it so that I may stay humble.

I thank God for giving me enough to get into SA.

I thank God for my brothers and sisters-in Christ, be it having done well or not, that they will land in the right places. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who has been called according to His purpose.

I thank God for friends who have done well!

I thank God for teaching me that love overcomes any competitive spirit, and I have greater insight of why love is greatest among faith and hope.

He is like a solid Rock that never crumbles, and that's where I'm standing on.

All glory to the everlasting God for all that He has done. (:

and to my supper mates: im really sorry, i knocked out at 7pm and was too tired. good thing i managed to message one sms to jassy. else you might have thought i was so happy that i jumped down a bridge or something. haha. (:

im making them Yours

Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

Hillsong- I will run to You

A really nice song that we sang for worship yesterday. If you wanna know the tune, you can ask me to sing for you.. haha! (: This song really comforted me. To know that God will continue to guide me and He cares for me alot.
Been thinking of O's results. I've prayed against the bad dream I had. And this thought came into my mind.. If I cant trust God for this little milestone of my life, how am I going to trust Him for the rest? It motivated me not to think too much and just leave it to Him. Yup. (:
I didn't sleep during hist lecture today. =D And today I asked this friend of mine, "Do you think I'm a quiet person?" And her reply was astonishing! "I think you are the kind if you dont know the person well, you will be quiet but if you know them well, you will be very high one." Finally someone who understands me a little! Haha. We exchanged our descriptions of our weird behavior when we're with our friends. And I told her about Hao Zhi cum niang zi! =D But I think I'd settle down well.. Cause' everytime things will just fall into its place. And if it doesnt, we have to be a little less stubborn and accept changes a little. (:


photo from Ju.C
This is the guy I was force to 'propose' to and he has not said yes yet. What are you hesitating for? I've given you the flowers (broom) Haha! A self-professed 'cute' friend of mine, Wash-clothes-k!

let me not be shaken

These past few days have been quite fun. (: Just that I get tired very easily. I have no idea why, but sometimes when I just wake up in the morning, I'd just fall asleep while sitting up. And history tutorials just make me wanna sleep even though I really wanted to listen to what the tutor was saying. It's like my eyes close involuntarily and my head jerk for more than ten times. Like just now, I was just on the MRT just wanting to rest my eyes and I fell asleep. And alas, hello to Friday late nights and sleepy weekend noon..
I really miss teachers. Like just now I was taking the LRT and hoping to see Mr Lim the diplomat.. Haha.

Wednesday (16th)
Cross country run. My friends wanted to walk and I ran cause' I dont really want to go all the way to East Coast just to slack. Haha. It just feels so great after a run. Then went for lunch with Juicy and headed for ice skating with CG. Man! First time ice skating in my whole entire life. It's like very fun. First time I got into that rink, I was like grabbing hold of the bar for my dear life. Then Nicholas taught some of us the basics. Gradually I managed to ice-skate a little further w/o holding on to the bar. And there is this place where there's no bar cause they reserve an area for coaching those kids. Everytime I reach there I'd just wait for my CG members to come and 'send' me across. And I'm very sad for CG members who had to hold my hands or even get near me. Because I practically grab their shirts or their hands and scream. Then later, I mustered my courage (and I don't know it came from where) and went across alone. I was like, "Looyee, you siao ar. Later go halfway stuck in the middle how. Or later you fall down even better. Let everyone laugh." But well, I went pass 2 times and I was so proud of myself lar. I kept muttering Proverbs 3:5,6 under my breath. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." And when Nicholas asked, "You go across by yourself ar?" I was like, "Yah!" (: I'm kinda getting the hang of it now. It's like... really fun! Especially when you fall down and your butt's all wet. (:

Headed with Tsao Hui to Ajisen, the horrible place. I have very bad memories at Japanese restaurants.. but just so funny. (: Anyway, we talked alot. About school cultures and stuff. Somehow this word 'culture' has been appearing around these few days. Well, I just felt that SA tutors were kinda sucky, but she pointed out that other places may have worse ones. Which is a good point made. I keep telling myself not to determine my performance by the tutor that I have. Most importantly still, is my passion for whatever I'm studying.

I just have to say it here, Sophia has been my encouragement today. (:

Well, I'm just so glad I managed to get myself to wake up and head for school today. It was a relatively short day and I really enjoyed school. Really sorry that I couldn't join CG for lunch. I need some time to let my cough heal.
It always feel so great to be in God's presence. Always reminded of His promises, peace and joy fill my heart. No space for fear and worry. (: That is what I can say about spending time talking to Him. No wonder Psalm 84:10 says, "Better is one day in Your courts than thousand elsewhere..."

Well, today, I was reflecting on some things and my family came into my mind. I guess it has been a long walk for both my parents. From when they got married without much knowledge of each other to now, it has been indeed a tough journey. I can't really relate to it, but I can see that the family was once filled with unrest and quarrels, but now I can really say there is this peace and closeness that dwells among us. I'm just so amazed by the fact that Mum got to know Christ through a just-below-us neighbour (once a stranger to us). And how grateful I am that she brought me to know this wonderful Father who really cares for everything about me and around me. I remember the time when I went back to church and (this time) really grew in Christ.. and my Dad told me, "I see a change in your temper and you have become more sensible." It's just so so encouraging, especially at that time he was still a little hesitant about accepting Christ. I realised the importance of being a good testimony too. I can't say that I don't make mistakes still. But it's really amazing to see people changed by Christ, and to see yourself changed in Him too!
You may not get the result you expect Him to do, but peace He will definitely give to you. That depends on whether you want to receive it. John 14:27 (NASB) Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

O Levels official release is on 21st Jan. Well, I'm not really worried i think. I'm currently in the you-give-me-what-i-go-what mood. I only can't wait to see teachers (esp Mr Aw, Mr Lim, Ms Chen) and the oh-so-familiar after-school lunch. (:

grant me serenity

Have I been yielding myself to the Lord for use. Or not?

I love to praise and worship God with my fellow worship warriors, I love to discuss about our lives together, I love praying for one another.
But when the tough times come, I forget who I am in Christ. I do know that being in SA is good and I have actually gotten quite okay with some of my CG members. But I just won't let go of my comfort zone in NV. It just feels so difficult. Today, I didn't go for school. Cause' I'm very tired. I was dozing off almost every minute yesterday. I think it's the cough syrup and my mental state of dread.
I know the problem lies with me. My lack of belief. My lethargy. I just have to fight on for God like in the past. Where is the warrior mindset? Where is the eagle? Just to wait for the Lord and to soar on wings, God's wings.
I'm really happy to say that God has never given up on me. That thursday, I went for morning worship and truly, God has comforted me through a prayer made by the person leading worship. She was saying that sometimes we do God's will unwillingly. Like I go SA, but my mind was against it. She asked, will we say to God, 'here I am, send me.'
It's a fact that I can never go back to happy times in NV, but I know I can create one in SA. It's a fact that God hears our prayers and it only depends on whether we will say to God, 'I need you.' or to continue moaning for an answer for whatever is happening to us. I scorn defeat, I hate to hide from my problems and act like nothing has happened. Just how many times have we ran away from our problems so that we are 'spared' from the pain and fear? You know you'd never learn anything just running away.
My God, I know You will walk through the waters with me. I know You will carry me through. I know You're still holding on to my hands.

I'm taking some time to remember assurances. He has told us, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)
It takes quite a while to realise that no one can understand or help me except Jesus.

settling down

Hello! (: Today was rather fun during cca sign-in with Juv. Well, what can I say. It always gets more comfortable with oldies. We had great time looking around and I was just so tempted to try out everything. I felt like joining rugby, volleyball, bowling and alot more. Okay, I know you guys are dying to know what cca I signed up for. Dance and debate! Wooh! I really cant wait for dance trial/training cause I think it's gonna be fun. And oh man, I think I took so much courage to join debate. =D I was just so tempted to go for choir. 10 years of feeling leh. Haha. ODAC's only available for 2nd intake so I'd see. Went to see the band. I dont know much but only that the instructor is really scary and the band is really good. To me, the sound is solid lor. And the songs they played made me really happy. Haha.
I'm getting used to lectures, just that the aircon rooms are just too comfortable. It's quite easy to doze off. And during H1 Geog today, I wasn't tired at all until the teacher keep telling us not to sleep. Guess the word 'sleep' sounded louder than 'not'. (: Got to know my civics group better too. There's his guy in our CG who is really funny. Cracks the whole class up, even during chinese. The teacher asked us why we sounded like we know each other so well. Haha. It's always good to have a joker around I guess. (:
Juv and I met up with Huichin and saw Janice too. Talking to chin is such a bliss. I have never had a great laugh for so long. And heard that our Dong, Lippy and Janice are running council..... Wooh!

I felt very comforted by Dudley the xiaobaobao who told me, "Be the laughter" when I joked that I wasn't going to chalet. Well, I guess at a new place, I'm no longer the laughter. There's this lester guy who laughs really loud and no one commented so far. Haha. Well anyway, I'm looking forward to 4e2 chalet. Like totally. And also I'm settling down over at SA already. (:


To Sam: Told you I was going to defame you. =D


Really good shitface friend of mine. (:

learning to say hello to tomorrow with a smile.

Hello! (: It's quite difficult to blog about yesterday and today when my feelings were totally different. Basically..

Yesterday. I spent my day meeting up with old buddies and it felt so great. The closeness is still there. I expressed to them that OG was good, SA was good, but I hate the thought of not being able to see my old friends everyday. A four year habit, culture, whatever you call it. I got rather nostalgic when I shared with my mum my feelings. She told me that just like parents can't always be there for us, so will friends. It's this kinda thing that makes me grow. I agree, but I didn't feel better.

Today. I overslept, partly because I was just so I-dont-want-new-environment. Didn't have a complete time to spend time w God, just rushed a little to school. During flag raising, sharing of scripture. And I was tearing a little. The sharing was on Paul's thorn in the flesh. Boasting in his own weaknesses because it is when he is weak, he will ask for God's help and God's power can be seen through his life.
2 Cor 12:10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
God just knows what I need. I felt really comforted.
So anyway, today was quite fun. Sneaked into Lit lecture to see how it's like. I'm quite tempted to take but my subject combi is confirmed. H2 Econs, Hist, Maths and H1 Geog. I talked more with my OG people and one of the guys shared about circumcision. I don't mean anything, just an interesting topic and rather funny. Btw, canteen food is really nice. And I abit lost touch with Maths. Good thing I didn't take KI, GP sounds difficult enough for me. Well, basically today got 4 hours free period but I used it well not to get bored. (: Well, today passed pretty fast.

empty-handed but alive in your hands

I'm just so so tempted to yell Siersha's cheer in the middle of the road. It's just so catchy and nice to hear. Haha.

Church today was really refreshing. Been tired ever since orientation started and OG was eating tau hwe supper until 11+. It's quite funny when you think about it. You've just met for 3 days and looking like you've known each other for years. Han has a cheer/song of his own too. OG dragged along to sing with him. Must hold up the spoon and sing, then say "Live is short, eat!" in Hokkien before we eat our tau hwe. Haha. Next week is lecture and I'm so going to explore KI lecture, I think. Btw, we saw Ms Tabitha Liu. She tapped me, and in my mind I was like "Wooh, she remembers me!" Cause' I have a cute face.. Pardon me for that, I've been wanting to say that for ages. (Okay, actually my OG got one girl also 'self praise' one. =D)
Sidetracked. Today Pastor talked about believing for better things concerning salvation. It was an assurance from God because when I was praying today, I asked Him for an assurance to make sure something. Our cell still stayed as one.. It's our third year together. Just hoping we won't take for granted the time we can spend as a cell. Because the first few times I came to cell, I found it a good place for me to grow. (: And our theme this year is, 'Jesus First'. I think it's really good.
We're YA 17, the line that has been drawn for BGR doesn't apply to us anymore. But I really agree that just because you're 17 doesn't mean you can handle a relationship. Like Joe said, you're just putting more hurdles in front of you. Even though I did see a cute guy in SA (Haha!), I'm not going to be a fool to waste my youth on BGR. I rather spend more time doing serving God. Btw, my first ever article for our YA's bulletin, The Blazer, is out! =D It's just so exciting, just that I contained my excitement the whole day. (: Wooh, may all my articles be God-inspired so that they can touch many lives. =D

joyce my OG rocks (: says:
actually i didn't get the bulletin today
joyce my OG rocks (: says:
cos on duty so never go thru the door and the ushers
www.notreligion.com my utmost for His highest says:
)=
joyce my OG rocks (: says:
BUT i managed to get one which was lying around
www.notreligion.com my utmost for His highest says:
aww
joyce my OG rocks (: says:
for your sake leh!
joyce my OG rocks (: says:
are you touched??
www.notreligion.com my utmost for His highest says:
yeah!

Forever I am changed by Your love.

through the phase

Hello! Haven't been blogging for these few days cause' I'm just so so worn out by orientation. Basically, orientation was less much of a challenge in terms of making new friends. Probably because I'm just used to being compelled by myself to talk and stuff. But there was just this depression when you think about how your old friends will never be in same school as you. People like my dear Priscilla, Janice, Dudley, JM, Alyssa and the list goes on. And esp when one of the guys in my group reminded me so much of Bryan! Yes, seriously. The way he talks and stuff. I don't mean in spiritual context.
To Bryan: If you didn't know, you have been a great motivation in my spiritual walk with God. I still remember you told me that I could rant to you anytime I wanted. (I must remind you here since you have bad memory) And I'm just so encouraged by you to really spend my time on more meaningful things!
To JM, Chui, Charis, Dud, Lewis: Even though we won't be in the same school, I'm just so so glad to know that we are brothers and sisters in Christ and that we can still offer encouragement to one another. =D

Throughout this whole camp, we had so much of cheering, water games, mass dancing, etc. I really must say OG3 is really great. We have this guy, Han, in our group who really makes the group together. Our signature line is, "Aye....... don't say that." There were dirty jokes, this is when my struggle comes in. Like some of you would know I took quite a while not to say this kind of jokes and do obscene stuff cause' it's not good. So it's either (1) I laugh with the group to be part of them or (2) I don't laugh and be happy of my conduct. I'm choosing (2), even though it was quite difficult at first cause' his jokes are really funny and I didn't want to be left out of the group. But I know that I'm not here to please people, but God. Despite all these, I think my OG is really fun lar. As in we stay out for dinner and supper etc. My girl-friends are quite nice to talk to. I'm really glad to have known Sherlyn, a really friendly sis-in-Christ. Yes, I thought of Cherlyn when she told me her name. And there was Leena who lied that she was a Pakistani whom I took her word for real. But of course, I still miss my dear Juvenal.
To Juv: Dude, I have the same thinking! Been trying to be on a look-out for you because you're the only one in there who makes me feel really comfortable. I'm just so glad that we can meet up in the morning and not be some lone-ranger. Haha. Thanks for always being a great friend and wooh! Oshokolotoishite!
Oh yes, I really love my tribe too. It's called Siersha and I think the cheers are really good. Sha-sha-sha-booya! =D I especially like those hand actions we do. Actually all tribes are like so cool! We're like so enthu and crazy and I think some of them really sounds like tribal people now. The purple tribe, Nahane, cheers are really great. Especially their rebuttal cheer, I laughed when they say, "Shabooya, sha what?" And all in all, everyone won!


OG3 =D

Peishi

Leena

my identity

I remember there was a time when two people posed this question to me, "What is your identity in Christ?" It was unplanned, and I was touched. I knew God wanted me to know, He wanted me to know what was my real identity as His child. Sometimes we feel that we always get things the wrong way somehow, and we start blaming ourselves. My dear friends, God may not be pleased with what you are doing, but He definitely still loves you.
My DO doesn't change my WHO in Christ! -adapted from someone-whom-i-forgot-who's msn nick
I just hope to let this friend of mine know that, you can be strong in God. Maybe you feel that you can never do anything well, that you are just so weak. That you can never be strong like others. The truth is, all of us are weak spiritually and emotionally without Jesus. It's only when you learn to let Him be your shield will you then overcome temptations you face, bad habits that just seem to stick to you, problems that seem so heavy to carry.

John 16:33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

The water that looks like it's going to be over your head, is already under Jesus' feet. -saw it in somewhere