Are you so familiar with the story of Jesus' life that you can't see how miraculous it is that God loved us so much He sent His Son?
Are you so familiar with His daily blessings that you forget to see the good things in your world and concentrate only on your problems?
Are you so familiar with the constant barrage of bad news that you don't recognize that God is at work? You don't even see His goodness and blessing?
Don't let familiarity stop you from recognizing His hand, His blessings and His miracles in your life. -NotReligion Insights

Yay! Dont focus on your problem! Focus on His blessings for you! =D
-----------------------------------------------
3 things:

1) Homework, tests are flying towards us. I have not and will try not to stress myself. (:
2) I dont dare to trust anyone. But Im still gullible. Why?
3) Mum always say dont care so much about stuff. And she's right.

My life is now.. bleak in a certain way. I feel confined in my own space, doing so many things. Haven been going out w budbuds for a long time. The only thing I enjoy now is only worship and singing. =D Some of us sang the VI songs in front of choir. Haha. And I think Im treating whether or not to go too seriously. Aiyah. Maybe just go and get over it. Haha. It's just another small teeny weeny thing. (: Just dont let it affect anything and it's fine.

To everyone struggling with stuff: Come on little flower, you can do it! (Quote from Aly's bottle. Herherx.) (:

*Your love covers me.

The difference is that the real Christian will recognize his or her mistake and come to God for forgiveness. The hypocrite or "fake" Christian isn't concerned about sin in his or her life. Who knows why he or she goes to church or hangs out with other believers? It isn't to draw closer to God.
Sometimes it's really hard to tell the difference between these two types of people, but you know what? That's not your job.
In this parable Jesus affirms that, yes, there will be true believers and false believers. But Jesus also tells us that when this world is over and He comes back, He will sort out the good and the bad.
Assuming you're one His genuine followers, Jesus told us what our job is: "Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples" (John 13:34-35, NLT). -NotReligion Insights (1)

Think of the treasure as His people, buried in the field of the world, lost, forgotten, and unredeemed. A pearl hidden among the trash of a sinful world.
Then Jesus finds us and with His own life He purchases the world so we can belong to Him. That's right, you're a valuable treasure, purchased by Jesus, a precious pearl that He values above all else. You're now part of the Kingdom of Heaven. -NotReligion Insights (2)
--------------------------------------------------

The previous two insights had been based on the topic: Love. Be it love for family, friends etc. And I think the two articles really spoke to me. I had been thinking of stuff like some christians who may not be following Christ and the first article told me that it's not my job to judge them (in my case, I feel disappointed) or what. And I felt relieved to see that message. And I will also learn to love others, even though sometimes they make me feel like grinding my teeth. Haha. The second one just simply made me feel so.. wow-ed. I had been a person living under sin's authority but now that I am a child of God, I have perfect liberty! (:

I may be dropping out of VI. Cant find the time to really concentrate on all the things at hand.

So, where are you? Or, better yet, where are you going? If Jesus sent His angels today to "clean house" on the earth, would you be separated from Him for eternity or would you be left to enjoy Jesus in the Kingdom? You decide. - NotReligion Insights.

If He came just now, I would have been in hell by now.
To myself: Why are you jealous over that and that and that. Those are just worldly things. Focus on God! And why are you judging... for? You have no right to judge at all. That's not your job anyway. Spend your time on other things alright?

Ok, with God, I can.

Saturday was super tiring day. Rushed to school cause' Mr Liew wanted to hear our songs for VI. Thought I was late. In the end we were already waiting outside Cosmic Waves (aud room) and he came at 0850. Haha. Super gay lar. It was a good experience. Cause' I pulled myself through. Really wanted to like forget it and dont join alr. And even though Im in for second round.. seems like the rest wants to pull out. And Im like.. clueless about what to do. Missed alot for choir prac and went for debates after lunch. I was like so super tired that I dozed off right in front of stef (debate trainer). Haha. Good thing she didnt scold me. And I left a bit earlier for church. I dont really think I should continue with VI. It's like.. school is already difficult to manage and my Sats are getting more and more.. squashed? As in the schedule. Rush here, rush there. Where has my 5-day school gone to? )= Church is really great. I no longer fear backsliding so much now. Cell has been really nice. Especially joyce. Thanks for the prayer. It reminded me that everything is possible with God. I asked my dad today about grandma's condition and.. let's just pray the line (small little gap) in the bones will close up. Everything is possible with God around! =D
Went to collect scholarship today. Haha. Jas' number was 303 and mine was 343. But we didnt get to sit near each other. )= Haha.

"Jesus, Take The Wheel" is really nice. If I can learn on time, I wont quit. =D

Lord, only You know the struggles within me. Help me to dissipate them.

you never fail

To myself and everyone else: Do know that you're blessed! It doesnt need to be known in the form of actions, words or what. You know it in your heart, that everyone cares. And even if they don't, there's still God who never fails. (:

Chem and Eng test today. Both should be passable. Seems like I'm starting to draw a sun in my life. (Optimism) I hope the sun will really come out for real. And I think what Dudley said was really true. Feel inferior and it will cost your life. Something like that. I guess when the mental barrier's there, and you keep believing that you always fail in life, you will be knocked down. Im sorry for losing my cool today. I have to learn teamwork. I know I love to do things solo and have the work my way but.. I should really learn teamwork. After all, in the future, you have to work with others. Huichin said that even though things are occupying my time, what matters is I enjoy it right. At first I wasnt convinced that I enjoyed anything that I am doing now.. but thinking back, I actually do. (: Yes, tiredness comes in the way but God refreshes me everyday! Doing your best and having no doubts, that's when you really succeed.

It may seem like I dont even care but please know the struggles of a somewhat lost friendship when you really want it back.

Today's geog was quite easy. =DDDDD First time I dare to say that.. but dunno whether I can get A2 or so. Hope sooooooooo. I studied for the test like.. 4am to 6am. Haha. I dragged myself awake.. literally dragged. All the tests are flooding towards us. )= Must jiayou liao. More sleepless nights. Not really. I will sleep somehow. My noturnal skill has worn off. Easily knocked out.

More homework, more tests, more debate, more singing. I shall pray that I can stay awake for longer hours. Haha. Meanwhile, goodbye.

[edit] I still feel like sleeping like the world doesnt revolve at all. HOW?

* The joy I try to give myself, is nothing compared to the joy that You provide.

But listening--that means focus, concentration, interest, significance…understanding.

When you really listen, it will lead you to a deeper understanding of what Jesus has for you, a sure knowledge of the kingdom of God. And it's a blessing. "But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear. I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but they didn't see it. And they longed to hear what you hear, but they didn't hear it" (Matthew 13:16-17). -NotReligion Insights.
------------------

It feels so suffocating, to force yourself to listen to everything that the teacher says cause' you're scared that you might miss some important detail. You tell yourself "If it comes out for exams, don't blame anyone but yourself." But such conviction cannot wake one up from all the weariness and lethargy. I must pray for strength.. for sharp mind.. and believe!
I dont even feel like going for lunch with the girls already. Like I know that I'd come back home feeling beat up. What's wrong? I just told myself to learn to be quieter in class. Perhaps all those crazy actions and laughing have made me tired.

I found a few songs for VI. Colors of the Wind is a really nice song. =D But the pitching keeps going up and down... Rrrrrh. Will go for auds only if I learn the song on time. Haha.

*Just shut up. And leave me alone. I never asked for it.

Oh yeah. I forgot to say something important. To cell members: Thanks for praying about my grandmother's health. It may seem like some insignificant thing.. but a few overwhelming stuffs happened but I could feel it.. like a whole army marching along with me and my family, praying for her healing and all. The rest is up to God. I dont know what some of my friends think from what they see or hear from me. They might think that Im some evil granddaughter. That I hate my grandmother or what. Yes, I do admit the respect's gone and Im finding it back. And okay, I ever contradicted with myself sometimes with regards to whether I hate her or not. But I dont hate her alright. I'd continue to pray for her and this family. God will do what's best for us.

It's like some whirlwind but you know what? I have a God who shields me from all harm! =D That's what makes things different! This family will be flooded with His blessings forevermore!

And to Dad. Im sorry I yelled at you and Im seriously touched by your message. I just hope that it's true and that we'd all be living in this wonderful house of God.

unto our God

Will you believe if I told you that I came online and this monsterous girl named Alyssa Chan wrote in her PM that "going to watch rain concert and the funny thing is i dont know who he is". What will be your first reaction even though you dont know his songs but you've seen his face on the tv ad before??? Scold her lar! And somemore I heard that her dad's company paid for some and the tics is 3 rows from the FRONT! 888 bucks per ticket alright! The problem is she doesnt seem to be that excited. I think her dad must have thought giving her the tics will make her fly to the moon but apparently, she's not like other girls who go wailing and drooling over guys. Haha. Monster. Anyway, I've heard a scandal about Rain but cant mention here or I might end up in jail cause' of him. Haha!

Today was still alright. Just that I can simply sleep with my eyes open or something by the end of the day. Haha. Went for choir and Mr Liew decided to give us another chance! =D Miracles do happen alright. Praise the Lord! Mdm Tay showed us a design for the new choir costume. It's very chinese lantern.. )= But hope they'd like change the length of the sleeve or something. It looks pretty draggy. Im joining vistarian idol! HAHA! That's like the funniest joke but I seriously join for the fun. Since it's the last year. Just that reason alright.

Went for debate training after that and the trainer was.. according to JM, chio. Haha. Yeah, she might get guys staring at her until their eyeballs drop. Woots. Herherx. And she's very straightforward. Just because we're not going to see each other after competition or smth. She was like.. "You can say anything about what you dont like about me.. Like if you dont like my hair.." But her training really makes you thinking. Especially with regards to countries. It can be tiring but it keeps you awake cause your brain's working all the while.

And rushed to church. Was abit late but service was nice. Worship was great. But I couldnt really feel God speaking to me.. Still, Im not going to feel down or what. Just wait and quieten down my heart.. and listen. We played two versions of assassin during cell. Super fun. I just love this cell to bits and pieces. (: And to me, it always seem like it's been years since we've met.

Went for dinner with Sop and Sam then Sam gave me a ride home. Haha. Super fun too. Cause' I keep thinking Im going to fall down. Herherx. Thanks kidfaces.





The finally completed QT puzzle! (:
Psalm 27:4 (NASB) One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple.


With Joe, the shepherd of BFC!


I made that. =D And the main ingredient is.. tissue.

*There are more things that what you expect.

PHOTOS! =D

The pictures that have been delayed since 22/12/2006.

Christmas presents to people from Joyce and me.

Bibs for people who made a difference. (:


The specially made glass for Boonyeow and Faith. =D

Glasses to monsterous friends. (:
In daylight mode.
Fluorescent mode.
And sepia mode.


Lights and sounds. Nice effect but not nice enough. )=


Joshua and my wallet. =D


January babies' cake. Drooling is an order.


Clari and me! The JCJ mamas.



Me and Joyce. We dont have to act cute, we're cute. Haha!


The emos! Jayne, Andrew the emo-est of all and Yongliang! =D



Dark choco! =D They keep me more awake than coffee okay.


Clockwise: Shi-mei, shi-jie, shi-fu, shi-mu. Shi -fu looks like an eccentric guy but actually he's nice. He draws 'talisman' for me to defeat the demons. Haha! Super gay yeah.


Jassy! (:


Broken mrt door. =D So cool desneh.


Daryl and Dudley. Gaying. =D


A cow pencil Joe gave me on Christmas. So cute! Haha.


Rugby-ed shoes. It's under bleaching process right now.

What you're going to see next is rated highly monsterous..

That was such a meaningless post. I'll try a better one.

Got real sick on wed night. I spent the whole of thursday sleeping while others suffered in school. (: But the visit to docs was long. As in longggggg. But I saw this baby which was ultra cute and small. Beside it were two baby bolsters and it's like of the same size of the bolsters! Reminded me of those dachshunds. Haha! I wished I could take a photo of it but I scared his/her mum will like scold me or smth.
Huichin threw a chunk of ws to me today. And actually most of them werent homework. Haha. Im lucky. But heard that they learnt new chapt and all so I've got to really revise. Haha. That sounds difficult though. Having to sit down quietly and staring at the books while knowing I can do so much more meaningful stuffs like sleeping. And Im really going to try to follow my timetable. Difficult. )= And Mr Lim said Huichin and I are famous because of our Little Red Riding Hood. Apparently, he has been showing it to teachers. Haha. So much for respecting our masterpiece. Haha!

Okay, anyway, really hope I'd survive through tml. With all those coughs and giddiness.

What does that mean? We live in a world of grand gestures--big things get noticed. Sadly, we also live in a world of selfishness. People like being noticed for their grand gestures. -NotReligion Insights.

I surrender all my selfish thoughts.

Goodluck tomorrow. Dont die out of weariness.

Give us another chance. That's all I have got to say.

Played rugby on monday. Haha. It's was tiring. Cause' I chased after the ball with my hands up wildly. Like some animation. Of course it's meant to be a joke. Not like Im some psycho or what lar. Haha. They kept laughing and didnt chase after the ball with me. Then juv went crazy too. PE is probably the nicest lesson ever. And FIT will be too if we play the knock-down game everytime. Haha.
Physics test was supposed to be disastrous. But by God's grace, I passed by 1 mark! Haha. I was really dead sure that I'd fail.. PTL! And Im going to stop being some crazy try-to-be mugger. I must concentrate when I study! Haha.
And Mr Lim said that debate training will be on Sats. My sats are going to be so packed. Choir, debate, then church. Okay, I must JIAYOU! (:
Today's choir practice was really horrible. I shan't mention the details but.. really. I believe all of us just want one chance to prove that we'd put in effort.
And I decided that I get tired so easily cause' I play too much. Haha.

Slight shot of a thought.. That things dont seem to go the right way. But it stopped after I prayed for Your way.

HELLO! Im like super tired lar. Went for choir this morning. Combine was really nice. (: And really hope that we can achieve gold for syf. Dont want our efforts to go to waste.. and somemore it's our last year for the seniors.
Got home and felt discouraged cause' of something. Talked to Wanhui about it and went to sleep. Haha. Was late for YA cause I overslept. Worship was nice. And we had the food session again. Cant wait for cell discussion next week. I miss it like so much. Haha. Joe gave us a furry book for sermon notes and schedule timetable. (: He really put alot of xin si into it.
Went to concourse with Sam, Sock Yee, Bifang, Rongli and Hz after service. Played pool until 10 or so. Got home really late cause' 3 monsterous buses went pass us cause' it's full.

Photos up someday.

If your cross means you must face the sword of disdain in your family, if it means the sword of losing a spouse or a job slices your heart, are you willing to pay that painful price? For Him? -NotReligion Insights

When the day comes, I hope I will. Things are unforeseeable, but don't worry, most of my confidence in human are lost. And I do like it that way.. at least I won't feel that disappointed when you guys turn back on your word.
-------------------------------------------------
I say what I feel. Either that, or I try not to mention. It's quite difficult, since I tend to tell people (especially closer ones) most of my thoughts.
I know I'm gullible. And I dont like it. I dont like to trust people so easily. Cause' they always end up making me feel like a fool. Like.. why did I even bother to take in every single word they say?

Looma, do not be discouraged! (: You gonna pray, pray and pray. And leave the rest to God alright?

Let me announce that I've finished my chinese compos after slogging my life out yesterday, missing so much of my precious sleep. Haha. BFC knows how much I love to sleep, I guess. And surviving during school without sleeping today is just miraculous. It was a short day, so I managed alright. Just that during A Maths.. I dont know why. Let's just say Im very sensitive to what teachers say nowadays. I shall declare that I love Fridays and Sats. (: We had sec1 orientation for choir after school for the sec1 guys. Attendance was quite pathetic but things went fine. And I told a guy that his eyebrows (to crystal: haha. i know i said eyelashes by mistake) were sexy. Haha. People of the right mind would know that I didnt really mean it. Just wished to crack something up. Haha. After that went to eat with Huichin. Talked quite alot about stuffs around us. I really think Im too judgmental at stuffs. And Im really determined to change alright. Pray that by God's might, I can do what I said.
Thank You Lord, for the significant motivation to study again.

i dont wish to see my loved ones in hell from afar, really.

And if God values a sparrow that much, He certainly loves and values you even more. ...
... Then He tells us "don't be afraid"!
You have nothing to fear when God has you in His hands. You can't even lose a hair on your head without Him knowing and caring about it. You are more valuable to God than a "whole flock of sparrows," far more than you can comprehend.
So, don't be afraid--no matter what you're facing in your life today, whether it's opposition, personal difficulties or even death.
God doesn't forget you or miss a beat of your life. He never loses sight of what He loves. -NotReligion Insights.

I wanted to rant here despite my previous post being so optimistic but after reading what's above.. I decided not to rant but just reflect about stuffs.
I failed my 1st test of the year. It was pretty depressing. Mr Aw dont want to give us our papers back though he has marked and I didnt even ask about my marks. I told myself not to rant to people that I'd fail and that I should tell myself that I can get through it with 21/40 or something cause' I know I hadnt done much studies on the chapters. And guess what. I just asked him something about the assignment and he said, "Looyee, you don't know how to do permutations ar. You know, you failed your test." Surprisingly, he knows my name. I always thought that he lived in a world of his own. Haha. But really, it was a, somehow, great setback that showed to me what has resulted out of my lethargic-ness. But.. I tell myself that I can do it lor. I mean, I've really been trying. Now is only the starting of trying to make things straight again.. so there'd be some hitches I guess.
The funny thing is I even attended prefects' meeting, putting these homework stress aside. After all, it's still a commitment that I've promised to make 3 years ago. Haha. Ok, hope I'd continue to peservere in whatever I do, as it will be for God. Yeah.
2 more compos.. and tons of homework... and still surviving no matter what you're going to do to me.

And just like the apostles, we have to persevere. We have to keep following Jesus and doing what He asks us to do. He rewards endurance.
As the apostle Paul said, "Let us strip off every weight that slows us down...And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us" (Hebrews 12:1, NLT).
You may be struggling now but keep on keeping on. The best part of life is yet to come. -Not Religion Insights.

I guess this applies to me too.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, just a quick post before I rush to do my stuff.

These few days have been really much better. I found my motivation to study again. And I told mr lim that i'd do debate. I know I have alot of worries and fears.. but Im gonna learn to trust in God. Yes, trust in my awesome and big God! (:
Talked to joe on the phone just now. Talked about the mission trip this year and how we can prepare to get the whole cell to go as a team. We're not going to leave anyone out. And Im going to pray and pray and pray! (: I've gotta be conscientious in my QT too. Anyway, we talked about my time management too and he said that next cell meeting, we'd plan our schedule and stuff. Yah, I never believed I can follow a schedule/timetable. But........... Im going to prove that I can do it. Yes, Im not going to be deceived that I cant do this and that again. With God, I can. (: He's going to guide me and Im going to walk victorious in Christ.
Ok, enough of talking. Do it.

If, however, you are too stubborn, proud or foolish to accept God's gift to you, there will come a day when that opportunity will be gone. What will you do then? -NotReligion Insights.

Today has really been a great day. I was listening to the songs that Dud finally gave me and asked God why am I so tired. I don't know why but He told me to think of the riches in heaven. Sounds like no link but I understood that I've been tired because I'm busy tiring myself thinking of O's and the results that I'm going to get for this year. Why not think of the riches in heaven instead of all these temporary "glories" or "shames" you're going to get just because of results? Results tell nothing much about a person. I thought so much and I realised that I should really learn to store my treasures up there rather than in this world, where nothing is eternal.
Service was about "I Belong Here". Belonging to the youth ministry, the church and God's family. It really spoke to me cause' on the way there today, I was feeling pretty inferior to people.

CCA carnival yesterday. Our last carnival for the sec4s. I still cant believe how time has passed so quickly. And I feel that the sec1s now are so fortunate. They have longer camps than us. That led me to thinking about 1E1, Janice being chairman and Kaiwai the vice chair. Hz the mascot with lots of toilet paper wrapped around him. Haha. And Juvenal Chan, the super weirdo who thought I was weird too! =D Memories will stay as memories, and the present will never stay.

I know Im going to be out of this slack-like-shit status soon. It's like people think Im an idiot for saying that I slack too much, studies and stuff. But.. you guys dont really know. Maybe I dont know either, just that I know I can do so much better than all the last min cramming. And Im still upset by the comment. Cause' it seems to be true. Anw, I said I'd be out of this status cause' I kept making myself reminded of what I typed in the previous post. I have to learn and change. Not talk and talk.

School was better today. But I really wished mr chan could teach me. Even though he's strict. But well, God works the way that's best for me. Like this, I dont have to face him and let him catch my specs or whatever. (: And I had the time today to just sit and a corner and daze out of classrm. It's super nice to be quiet sometimes, just less stressful. And Im going to finish my physics today, for sure. Next up's chinese then I can do some revision on my hist and maths. Trying to be optimistic here. I can do it. (: Debate stuff.. Dont really know if I should join. But I think my mind's forming a 55% yes and 45% no.

And did I mention. REPORT & SUMMARY & COMMENTS ALL DONE! WOOTS! 1000 cheers to the maths team.

first day

Yeah.. First day of school. It's just so so tiring.

31st Dec 2006/1st Jan 2007
Went to meet cher, jas, hz, sam, jy and cher's mum at cp. Before that went with jas to buy this bluetooth headset for cher's mum, cause' she has spent alot on us.. food. Haha. And it's hello kitty one. Haha! Then we settled down at sakae and ate alot. Me and sam keep eating octopus. Haha. And he keep eating tuna also. Ate about 40 something plates. Then the guys ordered tempura. After that, cher's mum went to shop and the rest went to concourse then I went to meet joyce for watchnight service.
Met her at kovan and she ate while i watched. Haha. The apple peach freeze there is super nice! =D Kaiwei joined us then we went to buy cake for the dec and jan ppl in BFC. (: Went to her house to put down things then went to church. Worship was great, no word but talking on the church's expenditure and stuff. Prepared for the year by holding on to our party poppers and hp. Haha. Church countdowned together then make super lots of noise. (: Worship was nice, we ran to the front and after that keep running around the whole auditorium as we sing the praise songs. (: After that went to macs for supper. Joyce's dad treated us man.. Handed her 50 bucks. Haha. Then went back to her house to do hwk.. Didn't do much. Few mcqs and slept at 7am. Sometimes I really wonder what's wrong with me. Just no sense of urgency. Went home and rested for a while then went to Jessica's house to do Maths project. Didn't do much either. And tried doing homework but did nothing in the end.

Yeah.. So I chionged my physics yesterday and still left with alot of hwk. Im very very worried that I'd slack. It's not like I want to.. Just feel like sleeping once I get in contact with all these studies stuff. And Mr Lim asked me if I wanted to participate in the debate competition this year. I seriously dont know what to do.. Im very worried that this year will be so packed like last year. And Im so so tired. WHY?? What if I wont do well for MYE, not to mention Os? I know worrying isnt good and procrastinating isnt good either. What's the use of knowing the theory? I just cant apply this into my life. And I just sort of told off my brother for something that he has done wrong.
Ok, I've vented enough of frustration. I'll throw the rest of it away and work on changing myself. I must learn to be concientious in my revision and work.. learn to be slow to anger.. stop worrying and fearing and just learn to relax. Ms Tan talked about this girl who was her classmate. Stressed herself too much and had fits during exam. I dont want to be like her.. Studying so much and all my efforts going down the drain. And Im abit upset by what Mr Tan commented about the report thing.. But well, I've got to know Im a human and there will be falls and stuff. It's up to me whether I want to stand up or sit there and start bawling.

* Lord, rescue me from all these mental poverty.